Our Amplified Earth, Episode 8, Customer Buttcheeks, Act I

By Patrick Francis Waters

Customer Buttcheeks opens the first multi-part sports saga in the Our Amplified Earth serial. Act I: Week 1 follows three characters moving through the same football season from radically different positions: the stands, the huddle, and the throne-like authority of the sideline.

For Niko Sanzenbacher, football is loyalty without reward. He follows the Assam Creeping Death, a beautifully designed catastrophe whose losses have become part of his identity. Niko's search for hidden truths leads him through a green door and into Customer Buttcheeks, an international order that disguises power as retail service. Inside are levels, promotions, executive sessions, coded language, terrifying discipline, and the promise that the Customer is always right.

For Saxby Lawless, football is the only life he knows. A five-time MVP and two-time Cup champion, he enters his twenty-fifth season beneath hostile local coverage and the memory of a spectacular championship collapse. He announces his retirement, promises one last title, and secretly consumes Swann's Dodder, a parasitic plant capable of strengthening its host or becoming part of him.

For King Clancy Chesterfield, football is a ladder. The veteran coach of the Los Angeles Firm has seven Council Cups and an undefeated season within reach. But Clancy's real ambition lies inside Customer Buttcheeks. He has found evidence of a rank above King, the Customer Imperator, and believes an unprecedented eighth championship will complete the task required to claim it.

PolyMatic Football supplies the spectacle: twenty-four teams, twelve players per side, men, women, robots and simulacra, shifting point values, returnable kicks, eligible linemen, lavish celebrations, and power-up chits capable of removing players, banning entire play types, multiplying footballs, or planting a mature redwood on the field.

Beneath the spectacle is a story about fandom, aging, hierarchy, appetite, and the dangerous belief that one more victory will finally be enough. Act I ends by widening the world and accelerating toward Rivalry Week.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1957174056
• ISBN13: 9781957174051
• Release Date: January 2022
• Publisher: Coffin & Crown Ltd
• Length: 230 Pages
• Weight: 0.60 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.5" x 8.5"