One More Sip of Whine

By Heather Rugile

"One More Sip of Whine" is a humorous and foul-mouthed account of one mother''s experience in the first few years of child rearing. This book is for those that have read too much about their impending motherhood fate through books, Google, and mothers who mask all of it in sparkles and sunshine. It speaks of the realities that a mother will face during trips to the store (otherwise called a necessary nightmare), breast feeding (who knew?), potty training (get the bleach and floor cleaner out and in arms reach), bath time (prepare the brandy!), a ladies'' night out (HA!), and so many other day-to-day realities that we have not been properly prepared for. Enjoy this story through Heather''s crazy lens of truth. Heather is also the author of, "Crazy China Sh**."Here''s a free "LOOK INSIDE" for you! :Introduction I NEVER THOUGHT I''D BE WRITING this book because no one could''ve ever prepared me for the absolute insane, and yet, insanely wonderful ins and outs of motherhood. There are no words. However, I''ve tried to use many in this book to describe to you my experiences. Did I ever expect that a little person would be poking me in the vajajay and screaming, "vagiiinnnaaa!" or shouting like a madman, "I''m crazy, Mommy! I''m so many women!" Excuse me? No, I absolutely did not expect this to be my life. It''s a totally and completely, crazy and fucked up ride. I''m not going to preach to you about the latest studies in child rearing, because I''m making my own up as I go. Unless, of course, the study states something I''m already doing right. In that case, I win. Killin'' it as a mama. I have no idea why I thought when I became a mother I''d be in the elite five percent of motherhood. I''ve been knocked off that pedestal... hard. Those elite moms are often what I will refer to as the ''mother shamers'' in this book. Also, it''s a code name for ''not taking responsibility and feeling totally okay about my batshit crazy child rearing ways.'' I''ll get all real on ya at times and explain the seriousness of some of my struggles, but the rest? Well, that''s just a comical twist on the fact that bringing a kid into this world challenges every last sane and sleep-deprived bone in your body. And, that sometimes, I think a glass of wine is the best medicine for almost all child-related ailments. (For you of course, not your child. I''m not that much of an asshole.)It''s the moments when your kid escapes the shower wearing his underwear on the top of his head while shouting, "I''m so cute!" And now you''re running late to a birthday party, only to notice you failed to put mascara on both eyes after you''re miles away from home, but your new philosophy since becoming a mom has become "fuck it!" to virtually every facet of your life. Phew! Words to live by. When the word ''sex'' is something you think you remember from your college years, and the word ''poop'' is something you use in almost every sentence. When you think the world is over because your child might not be going to Princeton despite the fact that he has yet to begin preschool, and you''ve not figured out why all the mother shamers got on that shit while their kid was still in utero. Yes, it''s all of these beautiful moments that, at the end of the day, make your life so totally weird and nuts, but somehow, makes it the best life you''ve ever lived.Now will some of these chapters seem a bit contradictory to you? Hell yes! And, that''s because I am taking this motherhood ride day-by-day, and even whilst writing this book, I am changing opinions, forming new opinions, and riding this freaky rollercoaster into new realms. This is a true look through the lens of a mother who doesn''t have it all figured out... not by any means! That being said, I hope you enjoy the ride! And, without a barf bag from all the loops, ups, downs, and winding turns!I''ll end my intro with this: My lil'' man is the coolest little shit on the block. His name is Greyson, and he rocks at life. He was born in Beijing, China ...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1726892425
• ISBN13: 9781726892421
• Release Date: October 2018
• Publisher: Independently published
• Length: 123 Pages
• Weight: 0.53 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.0" x 0.3" x 6.0"