One Flame (Smalley Franchise Products)

By Gary Smalley

Book Overview

The lighting of a unity candle is a popular element in many wedding ceremonies. With warmth and humor, relationship expert Gary Smalley shows married couples what it means to live in the true unity... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0842365648
• ISBN13: 9780842365642
• Release Date: February 2002
• Publisher: Tyndale House Publishers
• Length: 144 Pages
• Weight: 0.80 lbs.
• Dimensions: 7.5" x 0.6" x 7.0"

Customer Reviews

Learn to think like a couple, not like a single

One of the biggest hindrances I see to emotional and other kinds of intimacy within a marriage is that many couples continue to be "singles" in reality who do not learn how to let go of that mindset in order to become a "we" instead of a "me." As I read through the small but beautiful gift book, the light bulb went on about how a couple can be married but still interact as if they were two singles competing to get their needs met. His advice about how to transition from one way of relating to another was alone worth the price of the book. In addition, the jacket says, "Couples will learn how to blend their separate lives into one and to shelter the flame of their marriage from the five most destructive "winds," including hot arguments and cold silences." That part is also particularly interesting and helpful in order to identify dishonoring or ineffective "fight" patterns from both sets of parents as well as between the self and spouse. Learning how to disagree without being disagreeable, instead, can work to build greater intimacy (instead of using whatever unhelpful tactics one may have learned from a parent in order to get one's way or punish the other). The book provides a very good overview of foundational principles about what it means and how to think in order to be committed to someone else. If a person wants a more detailed explanation of the insightful concepts Mr. Smalley presents in this short gift volume, his other books are easily accessible. As I read his book, I understood for the first time the reason why many marriages do not work-- simply because from the beginning, one or both partners (did not or could not) choose to set aside their previous identification as a single in order to receive the joy that older married couples who have learned over the year how to be a healthy team share: the knowledge of how, without running over the other, the "two shall become one"-- how to have hearts which become "one flame."