Now That You're Out of the Closet: What About the Rest of the House?

By Linda Handel

Opening the door to a consistent, mature lifestyle is challenging for anyone, but it is especially stressful for gay men and lesbians living in a heterosexual world. In Now That You're Out of the Closet, What About the Rest of the House?, Linda Handel speaks from her own personal experiences as a former spouse in a heterosexual marriage, a mother of two, an out lesbian and a licensed therapist to explore the full spectrum of life concerns-from lingering childhood issues, dating and sex to intolerance, abuse and self-hatred-in a voice that is always direct, open and refreshingly honest. A witty, creative guidebook filled with solid advice, Now That You're Out of the Closet, What About the Rest of the House? offers encouraging direction to those who have discovered that coming out is only the first step in the journey toward a fulfilling life.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1570716528
• ISBN13: 9781570716522
• Release Date: January 2000
• Publisher: Sourcebooks Inc
• Length: 255 Pages
• Weight: 0.80 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.0" x 0.8" x 5.5"

Customer Reviews

Wonderfully liberating, light yet filled w/info, inclusive! A+!

I'm surprised more people haven't read this book! I looked through many others, but none were remotely as helpful as this one. In short, in addresses the holistic nature of the coming out process. What behaviors and attitudes no longer (or never did) serve me, and how do I change them? What does an intimate same-sex relationship look like? What do I do if I keep bickering with my partner? This text will prove useful for males, females, and anyone in between, as well as for people of various ages. It applied to me as a 22 year-old lesbian who came out very recently, even including a chapter addressed specifically to people 21-35 ("passing the torch"). At the same time, it has chapters on coming out later in life, to children, to parents, etc. It really helped me understand why coming out to my parents would be a big deal for them and brought up issues surrounding this I hadn't considered, all the while staying affirmative, humorous, and light-hearted. Much of the book is about universally applicable topics, my favorite of which were intimacy, relationship addiction (I've never read/found anything about this!), and internalized homophobia/self-esteem. It included a few brief and in no way obnoxious exercises (I usually hate self-help books!) and also a quiz to assess readers' levels of internalized homophobia. I got more out of this book than I did out of years of therapy. For the first time in my life I understand what I would look like/how I would function and feel in a healthy and intimate relationship. I also finally grasped that self-esteem is a result of taking ACTION rather than just changing my mindset or appearance. Also, I no longer think that I shouldn't raise children because I am a lesbian; that was the greatest part of all. Best wishes to all!

Laughter IS the best medicine!

The author has approached a potentially very serious subject with lots of humor - I LOVE the song titles for all the chapter topics. She has also added many questions throughout the text for the reader to consider as food for thought, and very useful for what could be a very thorough "self-help assessment." I am currently using the book with a book-study group and everyone adds their vote for this to be AT LEAST a'4"!

A Must Read for Anyone Dealing with GLBT Issues

This book is simply awesome! I have read several chapters over and over again. I'm not one who likes to read self-help books generally, but this one I highly recommend to friends all the time. There are just under 35 chapters and each one is devoted to a topic that really needs to be discussed more in our "community". Topics include: intimacy; internalized homophobia; sexual esteem; sexual addiction; coming out to parents, children, during middle age and beyond; setting healthy boundaries; aging; codependency; partner abuse; overcoming fears. All of this and more in a book that doesn't sound like a dry cookbook of exercises. All in all, a very well-written and witty book that no one should be without!

Easy to read, helpful, entertaining, not at all dry!

This book can be opened at any chapter, by gay or straight. The words pull things together and make sense of relationship issues. I am not fond of psychology books. This one reads like a series of short stories about myself and people that I have been involved with. The humor makes reading it easy!