My Mothers Keeper

by B.D. Hyman

Book Overview

Candidly, but with affection, the daughter of Bette Davis portrays the private side of the tempestuous actress and her marriage to Gary Merrill and recounts her own experiences as the daughter of a world-famous star.

• Format: Mass Market Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0425087778
• ISBN13: 9780425087770
• Release Date: May 1986
• Publisher: Berkley Publishing Group
• Length: 336 Pages
• Weight: 0.38 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 4.2" x 6.7"

Customer Reviews

My Mother's Keeper- the life of Better Davis and her daughter

B.D.Hyman's very detailed and graphic book about her personal relationship with her famous mother, Bette Davis, leaves nothing to one's imagination. All the heart wrenching secrets of this dysfunctional family are laid bare on the pages of this tell all autobiography. If we are to believe all that Ms. Hyman writes, then we must convince ourselves that her famous and celebrated mother is a schiophrenic, neurotic, alcoholic, unable to successfully navigate through any personal relationships in her life without torturing the people around her. It may well be true. Many a devilish actor's private lives have been well kept under wraps by their studios and personal management. (As an example Joan Crawford, Mommie Dearest). In as much as we can understand Ms. Hyman's needs of communication through her writing, this reader wishes that perhaps she may have found another way to reach her mother than by such a public network? Due to her mother's public persona, she could have written the book and published one copy...for her mother's eyes only. I imagine there is some element here of revenge, there has to be given the abusive nature of their relationship. The book is well written, extremely descriptive and a page turner by virtue of the fact that it is about not only a mother and daughter, but by the stardom of one of the books central characters. However, by the halfway point one begins to tire of all the stories of repetitive fighting and constant misery. From her writing, I discern that Ms. Hyman very much needed to bare her soul and this action may have been better well accomplished by baring it to a member of the clergy. Perhaps this is why she bacame a miniter. As a fan of Ms. Davis for many years, it is hard to remove her from the magic of Hollywood and celluloid thus bringing her down into the natural world to be told that she really was the true incarnation of Baby Jane. A grotesque character she played of a woman who lived in a fantasy world. In the face of reality, when her illusions crumbled, which was a constant accurance, she became a monster who would torture her invalid sister ( played by Joan Crawford) to such great proportion that she is left with no redeaming value. It is sad and very disheartening to believe that a woman of such superb acting skill as Davis could be this vicious and vindictive toward her own family, but life can be stranger than fiction. It calls to mind one of Ms. Davis' monumental roles as the infamous Regina in Little Foxes. Perhaps Ms. Davis did not have to reach that far to portray such a venomous character. One also calls to mind that no one is perfect and we all have our demons and I'm sure with four failed marriages under her belt Ms. Davis had her demons and her regrets. However, by B.D.'s own admission, her mother lavished her with wardrobe, gifts, (horses) and world travel that few people ever get to experience. I believe that Ms. Davis loved her daughter, above and beyond all things and perhaps too much. Possibly to the point of suffication. The book is Ms. Davis' payback for that love.

Fascinating

Although I think Bette Davis was a fine actress, she obviously had a very hard time with relationships and it's sad that her daughter had to suffer. You can tell that the author (daugher B. D. Hyman) loved her mother through it all. It gives us insight into Bette's psyche.

I love Bette even more!

BD did a great job..the book was engaging, entertaining, fun...a MUST HAVE for all fans. However, upon reading almost all bios and Bette's own words in "The Lonely Life", "This and That" and "Bette Davis Speaks" she pretty much admits all her faults, insanity, neurosis, anyway...so there was nothing too surprising here. Mind you, this was written post the HUGE "Mommie Dearest" success. I'm sure all the things BD claims happen did, but there have likely been many liberties and embellishments to make a more "dramatic" read...which is fine because it made me love Bette more than ever!!

THIS IS A GREAT BOOK!

When one thinks about all the other people who have related stories about Bette Davis, then compare them to what her daughter relates her, one has to realize that B.D. is telling the truth. Bette did indeed have "Narcissistic Personality Disorder" and needed psychiatric help. No one is perfect. Bette Davis sure wasn't and B.D. does not pretend to be either. I really believe she loved her mother and it is true, Bette did love her as well, but she wouldn't let her forget it. It is also true that Bette Davis would come to her daughter's rescue in a pinch, the way she did when they were about to lose ASHDOWN FARM. But Bette Davis never let them forget it either. THat isn't love. When one does something for someone out of love, you don't continually throw it in their face the way Bette did to her daughter. I can sympathize and perfectly understand why B.D. wrote this fascinating memoir about a woman who had some severe problems.

IT IS SCATHING!!

B.D. Hyman wrote a scathing book here. One shouldn't judge her motives because we weren't there to witness what she had to endure growing up with one of the most famous actresses in the world. Knowing what I have read in other books about Davis (there ARE countless biographies out there), it is indeed probable that all happened as B.D. said. When one is dealing with a controlling personality, one either has to cut all ties or submit. B.D., for the sake of her family, wisely chose to cut the ties after she pleaded with her mother to change her ways. Unfortunately, no one could tell Bette Davis anything because she was always right. The things she did to her sister were deplorable. Davis is more to be pitied than anything because it is obvious she was a very unhappy and disturbed woman.

AN EXCELLENT ACCOUNT OF A NARSSISTIC PERSONALITY

There is no way in the world B.D. could have invented all of what she has been accused of. My mother, God rest her, suffered from Narssistic Personality Disorder and was almost exactly like Bette Davis to a tee, although she wasn't a famous actress. B.D.'s account of someone who has this type of personality is incredibly accurate: the reviewer who posted below to describe the disorder has done a commendable job describing what drives people with this nature. They have to focus entirely on themselves to survive, which Bette did all her life, thanks to a controlling mother. They have no empathy at all for anyone else's problems and turn everyone else's problems; their own problems are blamed on everyone else; they have to have constant attention; they can't sustain relationships because of their controlling nature; they are jealous and envious; these are all trademarks of Bette Davis and one only has to read one of the many biographies of her to realize that she had this type of personality. The people who hate B.D. for attacking their "idol" have missed the point. B.D. wrote this book long before anyone knew much about "N.P.D." so, people saw it as a slam and a vindictive ploy to cash in on her mother's fame. If one looks at things objectively, B.D. was a victim of her mother's lashing out. I know because I was too. I can wholly identify with everything she wrote. People with NPD cannot stand to see anyone else happy because they can only deal with conflict in their lives. I advise anyone who has read "My Mother's Keeper" to look up several websites on NPD and read about what drives people with this disorder and then see if what they read doesn't describe Bette Davis down to a tee. I can relate to what B.D. went through because I went through it myself. I believe every word she wrote. She loved her mother. I loved mine. Since NPD was not known much about when she wrote this book, I doubt B.D. realized that her mother had it. She wrote the book, not to cash in on her mother's name and fame, but to try to understand her and make her mother see the havoc she was causing not only her family but herself. In the end, Bette wound up destroying everything around her. It is a sad account, but a true one. Before you judge B.D. too harshly, I beg you all to learn more about Narssistic Personality Disorder.