My Father Before Me: How Fathers and Sons Influence Each Other Throughout Their Lives

By Michael J. Diamond

Book Overview

For decades, mothers were thought to be the only real influence on a child. Now we recognize that the father's involvement also has a profound impact, but how sons affect their fathers is too-often overlooked. In "My Father Before Me" psychoanalyst Michael J. Diamond firmly establishes fatherhood as an essential event for both the son's and the father's development. With chapters analyzing the father/son relationship throughout the life cycle, and demonstrating the powerful influence between them, Diamond calls for a more inclusive notion of masculinity, thus allowing men to access parts of themselves they previously ignored. He argues that sons are largely responsible for helping their fathers embrace this more flexible notion of manhood, making them better partners and better parents. Diamond has written an important book that enables us to make sense of the question: what does it truly mean to be a man.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0393060608
• ISBN13: 9780393060607
• Release Date: February 2007
• Publisher: W. W. Norton & Company
• Length: 254 Pages
• Weight: 0.96 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 5.8" x 8.5"

Customer Reviews

For thoughtful dads

This is an excellent book for serious readers--both dad and moms. I like especially the illustrations the author gives using characters from well-known literature. Much deeper than any "self-help" books; it is firmly grounded in scientific research and clinical experience. The book invites the reader to think about the values and principles behind our behavior and how these may enlighten the relationships between fathers and sons. I learned a great deal that now helps shape my thinking about relating to my son--and grandson--and about personal understanding. Well worth the price.

PARENTS NEED TO READ THIS

Dr. Diamond is exploring the relatively uncharted waters of the psychological relationship between fathers and sons. As a father reading the book, I realized how many things I took for granted in the relationship between my father and me and between me and my sons that are broken down and discussed in this book. The analysis and the examples provide a reference for how I conducted myself at various times in my life and the effect it may have had on my family. This is a wonderfully insightful look, written in straigt forward prose, to learn how to be a better son and father. P.S. It doesn't hurt to be a baseball fan. For those of us who love the game, there are lots of examples where baseball is the vehicle for insights and understanding.

A terrific, touching book for all kinds of families

This book was a delight -- informative and poignant, obviously informed by the author's experience as a psychologist, yet accessible to the lay-person (like me). This is an easy read, full of insights for ANYONE who's a parent or a child, not just fathers and sons. I heartily recommend!

The Parenting Alliance

Although, Diamond's book is ostensibly about the reciprocal father son relationship through out the life cycle, he opines the importance and need for a "parental alliance", whereby both parents support the others role in active parenting. As Diamond re-asserts the important role of the father he by no means neglects a mother's role and at the same time stresses how this "united front" on parenting allows for the son (child) to experience the gifts that both partners bring to child rearing. This is a MUST read for both men and women who are either new parents or seasoned parents searching for a mindful and contemporary paradigm on understanding the nuances of parenting.

A wonderful read for the layman and the clinician

Dr. Diamond's book is accessible and informative and warm. His clinical work with his patients comes through so beautifully and tenderly. As I read his book, I was filled with emotion for all the fathers and sons I know. And as a clinician, I was rethinking my work with my own male patients. Lives are multifaceted and complex; and in Dr. Diamond's case examples he provides vignettes of many different kinds of relationships. Each vignette educates the reader and illustrates the capacity of people to grow and heal at any age. I recommend this book for fathers, sons, mothers, sisters, and clinicians of any persuasion.