Mothers-In-Law and Daughters-In-Law: Love, Hate, Rivalry and Reconciliation

by Susan Shapiro Barash

Book Overview

Susan Shapiro Barash, acclaimed author of Second Wives and Sisters, turns her penetrating powers of observation to the oldest of triangles, exploring the uncharted dimensions of mother-in-law,... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0882822063
• ISBN13: 9780882822068
• Release Date: May 2001
• Publisher: New Horizon Press
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.75 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Good and helpful

If the two people are relatively normal and emotionally and mentally healthy, this would likely be an excellent book to help both mother-in-law and daughter-in-law develop a good relationship.

This book is an absolute gem

Susan Shapirao Barash has done the incomparable job of exploring the mammoth complexity of the MIL/DIL relationship constellation. With warmth and compassion she weaves her way through the many different angles from both sides, looks at it from above and below, from inside and out. This relationship is undeniably one of the most complex, heart-wrenching and emotional parings in the human experience. We as women are so filled with complexities ourselves - add in two women competing for the love of one man - pitting a mothers love with that of the wife and you have a recipe for near-disaster at times. Thank you for Susan's warmth and wisdom to help unravel some of the mysteries involved in solving this conundrum - this puzzle that is both delicate and substantial all at the same time. A must read for any married woman, or any woman with a married son.

It was good.

I think that the book was VERY neutral. I don't think that she took either side. I am the Daughter-in-Law and I saw myself in many of the examples. Some things were hard for me to read, like I do have to accept that this woman is part of my life whether I like it or not and.... I do have to try to avoid conflicts with her for my husband's sake. Other things were great to read like "A mother-in-law has to give you her idealized vision of a daughter-in-law", and that her fear of losing her son comes from her being insecure and unhappy in life (or so I understood). I think that the book is good. It did give me a sense that my mother-in-law will never change and she will never apologize to me for being intrusive. I bought the book b/c I recently finally confronted her and I was looking for something to validate my feelings. This book certainly has.

I'm glad I'm not alone...

Finally there is a guide book about mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law that makes me feel like I'm not the only one. Barash covers every issue imaginable, from interfaith marriages to marrying someone of another race, to holiday time and money matters. She interviewed hundreds of mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law of all different backgrounds and ages. But certain issues seem to be the same for everyone. Even the thorniest of relationships can be healed if one reads this book. There is a questionaire in the back which is very insightful. I highly recommend this book to every mother-in-law and daughter-in-law -- before or after the wedding! It's a terrific read for women.

Healing Trouble in Paradise

I am so pleased to find a book that explains the complexities of the mother in law/daughter in law connection. Susan Shapiro Barash, relationship expert and gender specialist, uncovers all the troubles and tribulations between these two women, citing psychologists, sociologists, divorce lawyers to give insight into why these two women harbor negative feelings toward each other. Barash also reveals positive stories, of mothers in law and daughters in law who fill a void in each other's lives. Interviewing women of all ages, working class and college educated, Barash finds that over time, even the worst of these relationships can be healed. The book includes a survey in the back and is well written and thorough. I recommend this book as aguide for every mother in law and daughter in law out there, regardless of how long they've been a mother in law or a daughter in law.