Motherless Daughters: The Legacy of Loss

by Hope Edelman

Book Overview

A classic bestseller, now newly expanded and updated-the book that first acknowledged "mother loss," a woman's most profoundly life-altering passage

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0385314388
• ISBN13: 9780385314381
• Release Date: April 1995
• Publisher: Delta
• Length: 352 Pages
• Weight: 0.88 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.2" x 9.3"

Customer Reviews

As if reading something I myself had written...

Motherless Daughters is a must have book for any woman who has lost her mother (and even for those who've never really had one). I lost my mother 4 years ago, and this book (which I bought 2 years ago) has helped me to understand that my feeling after her death were not unusual. I truly am not alone, and neither are you. I believe that one woman put it correctly when she said "I feel as though sometimes I just want to shout "I lost my mother when I was 17 years old" to explain why I do some things the way I do. I feel like it is who I am..." That is true for me as I'm sure it is for many others out there. You will find in this book something for everyone: Women whose mothers died suddenly, Women whose mothers died after many years of long painful suffering, Women whose mothers were their best friend, and some whose mothers were there worst enemies. No one is ignored, even the ones whose mothers perhaps did not die, but abandoned them. This is the only book I've ever seen that targets the specific problems (and strengths) of motherless daughters, and if you are one, or you love one, you really need to read this book.

A sad sorority bands together

My mother got sick on Tuesday and she was dead the following Wednesday. I went into a tailspin of grief and lonliness, it may take me a lifetime to recover from. The title of Hope Edleman's book "Motherless Daughters" just spoke to me. I am still my mother's daughter, even though my mother isn't here with me any more to call me and nag me and hug me when I am feeling lost. It's also such a comfort to know that there are lots of other women going through the same painful experiences. This book made me feel more connected to other women and to the world. I once had a long conversation with a woman as part of my job and we discovered we had both lost our moms and had both read the book. "What a sad, strong little sorority we are," she remarked.You won't miss your mom less, but you will fee less lost and alone, especially if other members of your family don't want to talk yet. I also recommend the Web site an the workbook that accompany this book.

Helps with Healing

I lost my mother to cancer when I was sixteen years old. When I went back to school after the funeral, I think I did what alot of girls do, I acted like I was fine, because I didn't want anyone to know what was going on inside of me. This lasted for a couple of years, and during my first year of college, my father bought me this book. I kept it unread in a drawer for a long time, I didn't want to deal with my moms death. She was my best friend, and I couldn't accept that she was gone. Finally, I picked up the book and began to read. I was only a few pages in, when I began to cry like I hadn't since the night she died. It was hard for me to read the book, but I did, a few pages at a time, over a couple of weeks. I never realized that while other girls lose their mother under different circumstances, there are still things that are similar, and bind all of we "motherless daughters" together. This book helped in ways I can't even begin to describe. It gave me someone to relate to (none of my friends had ever lost a parent). I highly recommend this book to anyone who has lost their mother, no matter how old you were, or how long ago it happened. It helped me face my pain, and work through it, like nothing else could. I know it is difficult to deal with, but Hope Edelman's book really helps make a tragic situation, a bit easier to cope with.

Find yourself in this book: An affirmation of your loss

I don't know if Hope Edleman could ever really fathom the good she has done through writing this book, and how she has brought such beautiful purpose and meaning to her profound loss. What an amazing tribute to her mom. ---------- I was 11 years old when my mother, Linda, died suddenly from a brain aneurism. She was only 45 years old. Not a day in my life has passed that I don't miss her immensely. At the age of 18, a week before my high school graduation, I found myself grieving for my mom more than ever. I was watching morning tv as I was preparing for school and saw Ms. Edleman discussing this book and I knew that I was meant to read it. I can hardly put into words just how powerful Motherless Daughters has been in my own efforts to cope with life after losing the most important woman in it. Motherless Daughters is the closest written expression you will find of understanding the depth and breadth of the loss of a mother. I was amazed to read about the experiences of others with similar and even unsimilar circumstances and discover how much I shared with them in their feelings of loss. Feelings you may not have even experienced consciously are brought to light and put into words when you never knew it could be. You will find yourself in this book time and time again. Motherless Daughters has an extraordinary way of affirming the reader and bringing comfort to the child that continues to grieve within, no matter how many years you have lived without her. The daughter learns that contrary to societal's response to the death of her mom, that it is so natural for her to continue grieving for her. This realization meant so much to me as I still deal with the impact of my mom's death. I am 23 and 12 years have passed since, yet I still often find the emptiness of losing her overwhelming.My book is now tattered and worn from all the marking of pages and underlining and loaning out to people I knew could benefit from reading it. So many of my friends that have lost their moms have bought their own. Just reading it was not enough. I completely understand. I have read and reread my own copy several times and each time, it has new meaning to me.I don't necessarily recommend giving this book to someone who has just recently lost their mom, however. Its purpose really serves best after some time has passed. Not to mention, I think to give this book to a daughter some months or even years after the loss helps her to remember that you empathize with the loss she still feels though it may go unspoken, and most importantly, you have not forgotten her mother's life. That's the best gift of all.

it's okay to grieve

I am 24 and lost my mother two months ago. I have been feeling a deep sense of emptiness and have come to the conclusion that in general, the world seems to overlook the pain of parent loss. It's said to be a natural cycle of life, however, when you're young, there's nothing natural about it. I just happened across this book as I was browsing in a book store, and can honestly say that it has not only given me permission to grieve deeply, but it has validated many of my feelings of loss. As the world tends to tell you to "get on with your life," or "stop playing the victim," this book encourages people to aknowledge that mother loss is indeed a profound loss, and one that can affect a person for a long time. Accepting the painfulness of a loss and feeling grief is not playing the victim role, it's simply being human. As I watched the world respond to my mother's death, the outpouring for my father was tremendous and in many ways my sister and I stood in the background and observed this. This book confirmed that it's no wonder mother loss is so painful, it's the first relationship one ever experiences and once it's gone there is no substition, no new parent. My father may remarry, but my sister and I will never have another mother. Through this book I have been able to allow myself to grieve deeply and understand that my loss is not more, and certainly not less than anyone elses, just different. The biggest thing I learned from reading this book was that it's important to face the grief and saddness head-on It has to be dealt with at some point and the sooner the better. I am so glad that someone was able validate and address the pain surrounding mother loss at not only a younger age, but at any age.