Monster in my head
"I used to wear yellow. Every single day. I thought if I looked like sunshine, no one would see the monster in my head."
To her parents and her classmates, sixteen-year-old Elara is a success story. She is polite, studious, and draped in the bright, cheery wool of her signature yellow sweaters. But the sweater is a mask, hiding the "nothingness" that is slowly erasing her from the inside out.
Behind closed doors, Elara is fighting a war on two fronts. One is against the "Monster"-a cold, rhythmic voice in her head that whispers she is a burden. The other is against the suffocating silence of a family secret involving her Uncle Rick-a secret she carries to protect the people she loves.
When the weight of the silence becomes too heavy to breathe, Elara is forced to make a choice: vanish into the shadows forever, or find the courage to speak the truth that could shatter her world.
From the quiet isolation of 3:00 AM to the raw honesty of a hospital ward, Monster in My Head is an unflinching look at depression, recovery, and the power of breaking the silence. It is a story for the voiceless, a tribute to those still fighting, and a reminder that even the deepest darkness can be broken by a single, honest word.
Content & Resource Information
CONTENT NOTE: This novel is a work of fiction intended for Young Adult and Adult readers. It contains honest and potentially triggering depictions of:
Major Depression and Anxiety
Self-harm and Cutting
Suicidal Ideation and Attempt
Non-graphic references to Sexual Abuse
South African Support:
If you are struggling, please contact the SADAG Suicide Crisis Line at 0800 567 567 or Childline SA at 116. You are not alone.
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