Loving What Is: Four Questions That Can Change Your Life

By Stephen Mitchell and Byron Katie

Book Overview

Out of nowhere, like a fresh breeze in a marketplace crowded with advice on what to believe, comes Byron Katie and what she calls "The Work." In the midst of a normal life, Katie became increasingly depressed, and over a ten-year period sank further into rage, despair, and thoughts of suicide. Then one morning, she woke up in a state of absolute joy, filled with the realization of how her own suffering had ended. The freedom of that realization has never left her, and now in Loving What Is you can discover the same freedom through The Work. The Work is simply four questions that, when applied to a specific problem, enable you to see what is troubling you in an entirely different light. As Katie says, "It's not the problem that causes our suffering; it's our thinking about the problem." Contrary to popular belief, trying to let go of a painful thought never works; instead, once we have done The Work, the thought lets go of us. At that point, we can truly love what is, just as it is. Loving What Is will show you step-by-step, through clear and vivid examples, exactly how to use this revolutionary process for yourself. You'll see people do The Work with Katie on a broad range of human problems, from a wife ready to leave her husband because he wants more sex, to a Manhattan worker paralyzed by fear of terrorism, to a woman suffering over a death in her family. Many people have discovered The Work's power to solve problems; in addition, they say that through The Work they experience a sense of lasting peace and find the clarity and energy to act, even in situations that had previously seemed impossible. If you continue to do The Work, you may discover, as many people have, that the questioning flows into every aspect of your life, effortlessly undoing the stressful thoughts that keep you from experiencing peace. Loving What Is offers everything you need to learn and live this remarkable process, and to find happiness as what Katie calls "a lover of reality." From the Hardcover edition.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0609608746
• ISBN13: 9780609608746
• Release Date: March 2002
• Publisher: Crown Archetype
• Length: 288 Pages
• Weight: 1.13 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.5" x 1.1" x 6.4"

Customer Reviews

Such a Powerful Book

It is powerful because it can change you if you let it. Many people don’t want to change though. They love to be angry, blame others and live in the past. But if you don’t and you want to be FREE from all that - this is the way.

Get Powerful!

Take control of your life!!! Great results, easily implemented, with no shame or any other bad feeling! Restores your equilibrium and love of self and others! Wonderful,wonderful. Do it!

Life Changing!

I cannot express how this has helped me navigate through my husbands sudden death and how to deal with all the mental chaos that followed with family and friends. I appreciate its simplicity, The work is hard, but the method is simple. Thank you Byron Katie!!!!

Transformative. Life-changing.

This book created lightness and freedom in my life. It taught me to let go of ideas that keep me stuck in frustration and conflict. I use this method in dealing with family, coworkers, condo association (big ugh, right?) and with myself. It's a simple yet profound method. To the reviewer who said it's damaging: trauma is very real and humanity is learning/creating new frameworks and trauma-specific techniques to rewire our brains after we get hurt. I recommend those as well. This book's method reminds us that we can only change ourselves, not others. It's a simple, quick, effective way to unwind our twisted knickers. :). And beautifully, when we adjust our own perspectives, others miraculously shift as well. The trick is to remember that we ALL find ourselves stuck sometimes. It's just human . If we haven't acknowledged our pain and allowed grieving, then working on yourself might feel like self-blame. Ms. Katie shows compassion and works with people who have survived torture. Clarity and spaciousness awaits if one uses this technique regularly.

Damaging to the Soul

This book must be the worst to read if you are looking to improve your thinking. Instead of understanding your trauma and learning to heal, you are ALWAYS at fault and remember that you ARE the problem, according to the author. Refer to the reviews on Amazon. I am sure they will help before you decide to buy this book.

If I could give a book to everyone in the world...

this would be it. I'm an ordained Christian minister, and I'd give out *this* book before the Bible itself. That's how powerful her simple approach IS. It is literally the key to end all suffering. Sounds too good to be true? It isn't. I have been a student of psychology, personality and spirituality ever since I was a young girl. I studied theology in college, minored in psychology, have dozens of self-help and self-discovery books on my shelves, been a student of cognitive psychology and Toltec Wisdom (ala "The Toltec Way" by Gregg and "The Four Agreements" by Ruiz)... From these, I came to believe that my own thoughts create my own suffering. It's never the person or situation that causes me grief; it's the story I *tell* myself *about* the person or situation that is the problem! Yet, although I knew this intellectually, I had a hard time dismantling all my core beliefs and judgments. My intellect likes mind candy and the accumulating of knowledge, but it wasn't enough to put me over the edge to freedom. But this book did. It is all the above disciplines combined, but MUCH more. I was having anxiety attacks and an irrational fear of death and dying; this book helped snap me out of it immediately (along with the grace of God). Loving What Is is not by a counselor or some New Age guru; it's by a normal woman who was on the floor of a half way house, feeling bitter and angry, who had an epiphany when she asked herself a series of 4 simple questions. Her depression lifted, and she was a new woman in ONE instant. Since then (1986) she has shared her message, and it's changed thousands of lives. To see what The Work is about, visit her website at http://thework.com This book is a life changer. The information it contains can replace all self-help books...it's that transformational. It's also an easy read, and very engaging. After all, she's just a "normal" woman like you and I who stumbled on 4 basic questions called Inquiry that will change your life forever. If you are looking for answers to "why", are tired of feeling tired, angry, depressed, alone, cheated, sad, or confused, please get this book today. Janet Boyer, author of The Back in Time Tarot Book: Picture the Past, Experience the Cards, Understand the Present (coming Fall 2008 from Hampton Roads Publishing)