Jasper's Magick Corset: Partying is Such Sweet Sorrow
Hey, there Jasper here. FYI, I'm the Dumb Sword. Though my supposed mistress Verity says she wishes I really was dumb, so at least there'd be peace and quiet in her head.
I've been trapped inside this magick shape-shiftin'' sword since Hector was a pup (he was hard to housebreak. Just sayin'). And to add insult to injury, some sadistic jerk named it Morphageus. I know Would it have hurt to call me somethin' nifty, like 'Fate's Bastard Blade' or 'Ferocious Fist o' Doom'?
Welcome to my world, y'all. Just my luck to be found by a ginger-headed tomboy kid named Verity who somehow don't much want to be the heroic savior o' mankind. Talk about selfish jeez At least she calls me Jasper, which is also mortifyin', but at least it don't sound like somethin' you can catch from raw sewage.
The latest on our 'Noble Quest' (all rights reserved): me and Verity are still sneakin' through Napoleon's Gaulle, tryin' to get to Shakespeare's London on the Scepter'd Isle, to rescue her friend Tommy. he's the prisoner of a bunch of black sorcerers who want us so they can make the world an even more awful, violent place than it already is. That fuels their evil magick (mine comes from my natural adorableness and legendary wit, o' course). We reckon they ought not be allowed to get their villainous way. It'd be quite the blot on my spotless record. The other magick swords would cancel me.
But my biggest problem (aside from the demons and monsters and such) is Verity, who don't appreciate me introducin' her to life's finer things, like drinkin' whiskey and smokin' stogies. Some people don't know how to live. The ingratitude
Filled with many allusions to classic literature and actual historical events, Jasper's Magick Corset pokes gentle fun at the young adult 'you're the chosen one' genre.Customer Reviews
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