It's All In Your Head

By Gloria Gorss

You're either running from pain or chasing a fix!!The cover design for this book is my own original artwork. The concept for this painting came to me when I was trying to explain my pain to a therapist. Visualizing it seemed easier than describing it in words. I began sketching and finally painting my vision of pain in my head. This painting visually shows all the different pain that can reside in your brain at the same time. Pain "THEY" say is all in your head. Yes it is, I agree completely. Whether it's physical or emotional, all pain lives in your head. Your brain, in fact, gives pain its life. The brain is the central control system, the "Wheel House" for all pain throughout your body. Every pain you experience is routed straight to the brain for processing. Pain you suffer within in your brain, i.e., headache, neuralgia or pain caused by nerve dysfunction is another subject unto itself. Not only do these things cause head pain they also reside within the brain itself. It's an interesting conundrum. In an ironic twist, pain you suffer within your head is also the caretaker of the pain. You can't sell dreams to people who have walked through nightmares. Hence you can't explain excruciating head pain to folks who only suffer an occasional headache. They cannot understand. I've lived with this kind of debilitating head pain for years and it's been at the root of all my depression and suffering.Since I was a child and might have complained about pain, a headache, scraped knee, sadness or heartache, to my mother, I was always given the same response. "Get over it, suck it up, stop complaining, you need to toughen up, it's all in your head." My mother was not a very compassionate woman and had no sympathy or tolerance for what she referred to as "complaining or whining." Because of her lack of compassion and attitude I learned at a young age to keep my suffering to myself. For the rest of my life I dealt with pain, of all forms, in a very unhealthy way. This is my story about how pain took on a life of its own. How this pain drove me to a very dark place where no one ever wants to go. My head became the keeper of way too much pain and suffering. The insanity I was living in was taking over reality. I was at a place where my insane thoughts about taking my life actually began to seem reasonable and rational to me. I wanted to end the pain and that's all I was obsessed with. And so I did the unthinkable, I made an attempt to end my life one August day in 2013. Obviously my plan didn't turn out the way I expected as I'm here today to talk about it. This is not a self-help book, just my story about my life and how I arrived at that insane decision. Aside from the pain, I was in physically, I've suffered from depression for years. I was brought up in a family that was dysfunctional before it was fashionable. I suffered sexual and physical abuse and both of my parents were alcoholics. So much of my childhood trauma has haunted me all my life. I've lived with fear, insecurity and feelings of worthlessness for as long as I can remember. It's taken a lot of therapy and self-help to get past so much of that pain. Though I appeared to function quite normally for most of my adult life, I was always just barely hanging on. It all erupted that day in August when I woke up in the emergency room staring into the eyes of my husband and daughter. It's been an intense, sometimes heartbreaking challenge and tough road of recovery I've been traveling since that day. I still deal with depression and declining health today. Life is not easy. However, because of this recovery path I've been on for the last four years, I'm in a better place. Life is good and I'm still here and kickin it!

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1549555537
• ISBN13: 9781549555534
• Release Date: August 2017
• Publisher: Independently published
• Length: 431 Pages
• Weight: 1.67 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.2" x 1.0" x 6.1"