Being a partner in a committed relationship is a voyage into the unknown, much as being a couples therapist may be at times. Most of us have no idea what love and intimacy are until we fall in love and commit to someone. But we all want a sense of security, affection, and safety. We all have moments of dissatisfaction with our partners, and we are all aware of the possibility of their being unavailable, busy, or distracted. Our goal in IFS treatment is to assist each client in gaining access to the Self that will continuously love and care for our inner family-a deep and transformational love. I can finally love and feel empathy for that little girl, knowing it isn't entirely mined to fix and heal, a client once said after witnessing his partner fall deeply in love with her inner wounded child. By letting our partner become a significant-but not the only or primary-source of love, the IFS approach to couples therapy aims to assist couples in creating a deeply satisfying relationship between many parts and two spacious Selves. My goal as an IFS therapist is to encourage couples to accept their humanity and their capacity to love deeply, starting with each other. I no longer try to persuade people to expand into the potential of their relationships; instead, I invite them to do so.d This book speaks aboutIntroduction to Internal family system therapyGetting the heart of what mattersDaytime Relationship Functioning and Overnight Heart Rate in Young Dating CouplesRelationship and CommunicationAct of ForgivenessAct of Repair after betrayal
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