I'm Fine

By Cody Mackall

"I'm fine."

Two words. I said them after my classmate took her own life. I said them after Afghanistan. I said them the day I sat alone on a trail with a bottle of pills and a caramel macchiato, ready to make it the last thing I ever did.

Every time, I was lying.

This is the story of what was actually going on underneath.

From a small town in Ohio to a combat deployment at nineteen. From a Dear John letter to the darkest night of my life. From burying twenty-eight friends lost to suicide to standing on a stage and finally telling the truth out loud.

There are no five steps in here. No overnight transformation. No neat arc where the hard part ends on page 200 and everything's fixed. This book doesn't move in a straight line, because my life didn't either. It's going to feel like a rollercoaster. That's on purpose. That's honest.

What you'll find instead is the truth. The phone call that pulled me back from the edge. The cat, the crooked tattoo, and the church small group that saved me when nothing else could. The little girl named Riley whose loss nearly ended me. The pool that has been my sanctuary since I was fifteen. And the day I stopped pretending, published my story, and watched the messages pour in from people who thought they were the only ones.

Because that's the thing nobody tells you: you can be the strong one and still be drowning. You can be leading the room and privately falling apart. High-functioning and hurting are not opposites.

This book is a sanctuary, not a solution. It's a place to lower your guard. To sit with the things you've kept quiet. A reminder that what you feel is valid, even when it's messy. Especially when it's messy.

But hear me on this: It is okay not to be okay. It is not okay to stay silent when you need help. I stayed silent way longer than I should have. I told myself carrying it alone made me strong. It didn't. It just made me alone.

Don't copy my silence. Be braver than I was.

For the veteran who can't say it out loud. For the leader everybody leans on. For the athlete, the parent, the friend who's been saying "I'm fine" for so long they almost believe it.

You are not as alone as you feel.

Take a breath. Turn the page. Let's walk through it together.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0H91ST9XD
• ISBN13: 9798187156801
• Release Date: August 2026
• Publisher: Independently published
• Length: 144 Pages
• Weight: 0.34 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.0" x 0.4" x 5.0"