I Wish I Never Met You: Dating the Shiftless, Stupid, and Ugly a Novel

by Denise N. Wheatley

Book Overview

Preston the Project Mishap Ernest the Undercover Sugarbooty Marvin the Married Man-Boy Forrest the Foul Fianc What single woman hasn't been desperate enough to risk it all in an attempt to find True... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0743250567
• ISBN13: 9780743250566
• Release Date: August 2004
• Publisher: Touchstone Books
• Length: 224 Pages
• Weight: 0.45 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.2" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

I never knew breaking up could be such fun!!!!

I stumbled across this book while looking for interesting reads to entertain myself after a pretty bad break up. I have never laughed so hard before in my life...I know I woke my neighbors! I loved it so much that I passed this on to friends who felt the same. The all-too-real scenarios mixed with the over-the-top outcomes provide a very workable yet unparalled blend of down-home (almost street-corner) wit, intentionally shocking humor, precise imagery and slightly sadistic introspection (i.e., the "affirmations" at the end of each chapter). Not for the faint of heart or those looking for fairytale endings...dark humor at its best!!!

The BEST MOST HILARIOUS BOOK! RUN TO THE BOOKSTORE AND BUY THIS!!!!

I'm not kidding. I am a book finatic, I read all types of books but this one takes the cake for the laughter, realness, honesty.. etc. I love Denise!!! I wanna know what Happened with Harold!

Funniest Book I've Read!

Oh how I wish I could have had the nerve to do some of the things she did to those men...I've definitely dated a few of them. The quote in the intro was the thing that really struck a chord with me...somebody out there knows me too well! If you want a good laugh, get this book!

The Bottom Line

Look for it, and you'll find it. The bottom line, the lesson to be learned, the moral of the story is visible for all who dare to look. No matter what we go through in life, the bottom line is there for us to recognize it and the simple way it keeps us grounded (if we pay attention). In I WISH I NEVER MET YOU, author Denise N. Wheatley shares with us quite a few bottom lines from one woman's crazy dating life. Through all the drama, the burning down of apartments, the fights, the loving, and the laughter, the narrator identifies the hardcore reality of every one of her stories and unabashedly shares that with her audience. Aside from good morals, the narrator also shares with us some of the most hilarious, shocking, shameless, and disappointing dating stories that I have ever read or heard. While I must admit that a few of the tales hit home for me, I'm very glad that my dating life isn't as bad as this woman's. Whew! Sure, most of us have dated liars, cheaters, and/or abusers, but the men in this book take the cake. So does our fearless narrator. The main character from whose perspective author Wheatley writes is a force to be reckoned with. She dropkicked one man on the dance floor, burned down another's apartment, and peppered sprayed another one in the club - all for very valid reasons, of course. She's had to deal with married men, men who couldn't decide what team they were batting for, men with money, men who acted like they had money, and men who didn't care that they were broke as hell. Although she has been through a lot, she survived and lived to share her horror stories with us. It is because of Denise N. Wheatley that I survived a three-hour train ride. Her novel, I WISH I NEVER MET YOU, had me laughing so hard and gasping so much that people kept staring at me wondering what was wrong with me. I didn't care and read on, getting more and more engrossed into her comical writing style and the appallingly amusing dating stories she told. There are thirteen stories divided into four sections, and the novel is full of colorful, well-portrayed characters. The narrator is a trip! Her voice is strong and flows well throughout all the stories. While some crazy things happen, nothing is over the top. True, all the drama is believable, but I would never have imagined people would actually do some of the things done in this book. I enjoyed Wheatley's writing style. She often uses witty repetitions to hammer in a point, assist the reader in making connections, or for comic relief. The section intros and quotes are well written and appropriately placed. I enjoyed all the stories, but my favorites are the ones in The Big Payback section. I also like how each story ends with an often amusing, but very true, bottom line. My only problem with the book is the amount of foul language, but there is a good, forewarning disclaimer at the beginning. I WISH I NEVER MET YOU is a great debut novel by Wheatley. (RAWSISTAZ Rating: 4.

Great Book!

I was browsing at the bookstore and picked up this book. It turned out to be a nice read. I thought it was very funny and the different situations were hilarious! I think if someone is looking to laugh this book is worth their time.