I Take This Man

By Valerie Frankel

Book Overview

From author Valerie Frankel comes a hilarious story of suspense, revenge and revelation, involving a bride, a groom, her mother, and his father. Here comes the bride...there goes the groom... Penny Bracket waited two years to marry dream man Bram Shiraz. Then on the morning of the Big Day, while she's trying on her veil, Penny receives the worst two-line letter of her life: " Penny, I can't go through with it. Sorry, Bram. " Penny's hurt and upset. But Esther, Penny's divorced mom, wants Bram's head on a platter. So Mom ambushes the cold-footed coward before he hot-foots it out of town, bonks him on the head with a champagne bottle, and spirits him away to a hidden room in her gargantuan mansion in Short Hares, New Jersey. Esther doesn't want much. All Bram has to do is write personal, heartfelt apologies to each of the two hundred disappointed wedding guests . . . and eat every mouthful of the very expensive gourmet wedding feast that has gone to waste. Then he'll be free to leave. Penny doesn't want Bram tortured. She just wants answers to "why"--and maybe a little revenge....

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0062431528
• ISBN13: 9780062431523
• Release Date: October 2015
• Publisher: William Morrow & Company
• Length: 304 Pages
• Weight: 1.10 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.3" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

Lots of fun

This was a very funny book. It wasn't very believable, but as long as you don't take it too literally, you'll have a great time. It's the story of Penny, a bride who is dumped at the altar. Her mother, believing (falsely, as it turns out) that Penny was beaten as well as jilted by her fiance Bram, knocks Bram over the head with a champagne bottle and smuggles him into a secret room in her mansion. He's forced to stay there until he writes an apology note to every single guest at the wedding AND eats all the leftover food that would have been served at the reception. Of course, his athletic physique is shot. There's a subplot involving Penny's mother and Bram's father, who doesn't know that his new paramour is holding his son captive. Meanwhile, Penny learns why Bram abandoned her, and the whole situation comes to a ridiculous but entertaining climax. If you liked Valerie Frankel's other books, you'll probably enjoy this one.

fun lighthearted romp

On the day they were to exchange I do, Bram Shiraz informs Penny Bracket that he cannot marry her, leaving her a note saying he is sorry and not much more. Penny is upset especially since Bram did not have the guts to face her; after all they were seeing one another for two years so he owed her that much. While Penny wants to know why, her mother Esther, distrustful of men, is outraged by Bram's cowardly negative. She confronts him with a champagne bottle to his head and takes Bram prisoner to her Short Hares, New Jersey vast estate. Esther demands Bram write a personal note apologizing to each of the more than two hundred guests and eat every piece of the massive expensive wedding food that Esther has had shipped to her estate. Bram's widowed father Keith searches for his suddenly vanished son to learn why also. All roads lead to Esther Bracket, but no evidence of his son seems anywhere so perhaps a seduction is in order to obtain the facts. This tale is obviously over the top but readers will enjoy this zany contemporary romantic comedy. The story line is fast-paced once Esther performs the abduction and never slows down not even for a seduction or a bite or two zillion. The CIA will want to hire Esther as her form of torture (eating quiche for 200 plus guests) make rendition obsolete. Fans will enjoy Valerie Frankel's fun lighthearted romp. Harriet Klausner