I Know Who I Am: The Ballad of a Transgender Woman

By Samantha Rose and Christine Matheny

When I was fourteen years old...

My best friend, Amanda Carson, disappeared on Saturday, April 16, 2005. She was last seen with a couple of our other friends, and then she was found dead in a trash barrel behind the Galesburg mall. Amanda Carson was the first person that ever came to understand me for who I truly am, and she encouraged my differences, and made a long-lasting impact on my life for years and years to come. In those days leading up to her mysterious disappearance, I overheard a conversation in the girls bathroom that hinted at what had happened to her. That very day, I also found out that my mother had cancer, which sent me into a spiraling madness of depression, uncertainty, and self-doubt.

The relationship between my father and I...

Was an extremely radioactive, and highly volatile relationship. Dad never accepted my differences and the way that I acted--the things that I was doing that ultimately led up to my transition from male to female years later. He abused us three kids, and he abused my mother most of all. My father was an incredibly cruel and wicked person--a monster wrapped in human flesh with a relentless appetite to bring everyone around him down.

These are the events...

That have come to shape me, and to define me into the person that I know myself to be, and this is my story. Told in three parts, each one representing a rather strenuous and toxic period of my life, these are the very events that have made me strong and resilient in the face of adversity. It is because of these events, and some others throughout, that I know who I am.

This is my story...

The Ballad of a Transgender Woman.
I know who I am, and nobody can ever take what I've been through, and how it all came to define me, away from me.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0FP4D4LXX
• ISBN13: 9798262628353
• Release Date: August 2025
• Publisher: Independently published
• Length: 220 Pages
• Weight: 0.67 lbs.
• Dimensions: 9.0" x 0.5" x 6.0"