I Didn't Order Grandma: No Express Shipping Available

By Winnie Larkspur

Nobody ordered Grandma.

And yet - on Tuesday, there she is. In charge until Sunday, and slower than anything the fastest kid on the block has ever timed. Nine minutes to the mailbox. Twenty-two minutes for one apple. She says hello to a dog that has never once said hello back.

So the kid does what any reasonable timekeeper would do: gets out the stopwatch and writes it all down. Every trip. Every record. None of it gets faster.

Then Sunday comes, the car pulls away - and the quietest, fastest week of all begins.

From the creator of I Didn't Order a Baby, I Didn't Order a Monster, and I Didn't Order a Kiss comes a fourth deadpan-funny story about a big feeling - this time, the slow kind of love you only notice once it drives away. It lets a kid complain about every slow minute, takes the complaining completely seriously, and then lets the stopwatch tell the truth.

Perfect for:

Kids ages 4-8 who are always being told to slow down (and never do)Families counting the days until the next grandparent visitGrandparents Day, birthday, and "going to Grandma's" giftsRead-alouds that make kids laugh and grandparents reach for a tissue

40 pages of warm, funny illustrations, one very serious record notebook, and the best worst record in picture-book history.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0HG89582C
• ISBN13: 9798194456734
• Release Date: August 2026
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 42 Pages
• Weight: 0.27 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.1" x 8.5" x 8.5"