How to Talk to a Widower

by Jonathan Tropper

Book Overview

"A resigned yet hopeful examination of grief with a side of human absurdity . . . warm and modestly knowing, with a wisecracking slacker hero."--Kirkus Reviews

Doug Parker is a widower at age twenty-nine, and in his quiet town, that makes him the object of sympathy, curiosity, and in some cases even unbridled desire. But Doug has more urgent things on his mind, such as his sixteen-year-old stepson, Russ, a once-sweet kid who...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0385338910
• ISBN13: 9780385338912
• Release Date: June 2008
• Publisher: Bantam
• Length: 352 Pages
• Weight: 0.65 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 6.0" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Funny and touching

Jonathan Tropper just keeps getting better and better. This book and his last, Everything Changes, are just terrific, fun reads. You wouldn't think that the tale of a young windower having trouble with his grief could make for such a funny and insightful read, but Tropper manages to make this subject neither maudlin nor repetitive. This is both voice- and plot-driven fiction, and Tropper has mastered in each of his novels that cynical male with a hard-shell of sarcasm lying over a sensitive, feeling-full interior. As other reviews will note, the main plot line is about a young widower overcome with grief who also has to deal with the unruly teenager his late wife left behind. In the meantime, he also has an outrageous twin sister who's just left her rich husband because he's boring, another sister whom he's angry with for meeting her fiance at his house when he sat shiva for his wife, an alcoholic mother, and a once brilliant, but now senile, father who shows flashes of his former competence in between episodes of playing baseball in his underwear on his mansion's front lawn. Tropper actually manages to stir this soup of outrageous characters very effectively. There's little subtext here -- all the dramatic situations are right out there and just one step shy of being over the top -- but they're not. It seems to me that he can pull this all off because he has some amazing writing talents. There's a scene of the main character's blind date with a recent divorcee that is told entirely in the chatty woman's voice -- four to five pages of uninterrupted dialogue (in the form of monologue) that gives you a hysterical impression of just how badly the entire night went. The man can turn a phrase -- and while his observations are rarely unique -- that the suburbs are vapid and overly materialistic, as one example -- Tropper has the writing chops to make you marvel at the freshness of the language he uses to convey those opinions. If you're looking for a light, entertaining, very well written read, I highly recommend this book.

A definite winner

I've read all four of Jonathan Tropper's books and this one is probably my favorite, at least right up there with The Book of Joe. It's definitely the most consistent, and you can see his growth as a writer if you've been following him from Plan B. I wouldn't have thought that a widower would be that great of a topic, but Tropper creates such a crazy bunch of characters that the story unfolds and you're laughing in spots and almost crying in others. Russ was hilarious. He's kind of like the best supporting actor who steals every scene. And while Doug wallows throughout pretty much the whole book, it never gets to the point where you're like, "enough already, dude." If you've liked Tropper's other books, you have to get this one. And if you haven't read him yet, this one's a great one to start on.

So I have a new favorite book...

Doug Parker is a widower. A beautiful, slim, sad man who is obsessed with mourning his wife and being consumed with grief. A year after his wife's death in a plane crash, Doug finds himself unwilling to move on. His job as a magazine writer affords him the sort of solitary lifestyle wherein he doesn't need to even leave his house to go to work. He can sit at home, drown his sorrows in Jack Daniels, avoid phone calls from his friends and family, and mourn. Because what else is a 29-year-old widower supposed to do? Enter Doug's twin sister, Claire. Claire, notorious for her potty mouth and unwillingness to take no for an answer, is determined that Doug get himself back on the market, the first step of which is to get him laid. Temporarily moving in with him, Claire sets out to find Doug a companion among the rich, suburban divorcees in his neighborhood. Along with Claire comes Doug's stepson, Russ. Since his mother's death, Russ has been getting into more and more trouble at school, smoking pot, and getting tattoos. Though Doug has semi-washed his hands of the situation (he isn't really Russ's stepfather anymore, is he?), he can't help but feel partially responsible as he watches the boy falling apart. Together, these three learn to navigate the twists and turns of grief, familial obligation, and moving on. When the book starts out Doug is one of the saddest, most broken characters I've ever read, but his wit, self-deprecating charm, and fierce love for his wife make him the sort of man who you just want to put back together again. My heart broke for the shattered remnants of his happiness and, over the course of the novel as I watched him slowly rebuild what he'd lost, I only became more emotionally involved with the story. The supporting characters, most notably Russ and Claire, are also richly drawn and entertaining in a way that makes me appreciate my own dysfunctional family. Jonathan Tropper's newest novel isn't just a story about grief, though the undertone is there. It's not simply a story about loss, though to discredit its place in the story would be a lie. It's, in the truest sense of the term, a love story. One that broke my heart and threatens to do so again and again because, though I am not a person who rereads books, I already can't wait until enough time has passed that I can read this story again and get lost in the characters, the emotions, and the sense of utter fulfillment I felt when I finished it. This book isn't just good, it's spectacular. It's of a caliber that I would, and will, hand it out as gifts for birthdays and Christmas because it's the type of thing that you just have to pay forward. I don't give out five-star reviews like candy at Halloween, and I don't gush about books just for the sake of doing it, hopefully after reading this review you'll understand what an exceptional book this was and be tempted to try it for yourself.

best one yet

have read all of his books and this is his best......an amazing writer who makes the pages come alive with his characters...finished it in one day as I could not put it down. His understanding of grief for the loss of a spouse is extraordinary for someone who has not experienced it firsthand...buy this book....you will not be disappointed.....and there are definitely lots of laughs in what could have become a very sad story..

well written character study

Twenty-nine years old Doug Parker cannot believe how fast life can change when his spouse Hailey dies in a plane crash. However, his grief is so great he struggles to leave their home and he writes about it in his magazine column so that many feel for him as a young widower raising a teenage stepson, Russ with big issues since his mom died. He wants to hide in his grief cocoon, but instead he becomes a media darling as everyone wants Doug on their show. However, his woes turn uglier when his pregnant twin sister Claire leaves her husband and moves in with Doug and Russ. Her plan is to force her brother to move on with his life. Local females sympathize with Doug while a few want to be the one who take him out of his depression starting with the wife of his best friend, the strippers he meets, and the guidance counselor who worries about both males residing in the Parker home. This is a well written character study of a young man grieving the unexpected death of his wife after just a couple years together. Doug is an interesting protagonist as he deals with issues ranging from guilt to loneliness to failing Russ, who has his own problems. The outside world wants in to his fishbowl adding more troubles to a troubled soul. Jonathan Tropper provides a strong tale that looks at the grief process from the differing perspective of a man under thirty unable to cope. Harriet Klausner