How to Survive Being 5: By A Six-Year-Old Who Is Basically Grown Now

By Jonathan Grimes

The ultimate Kindergarten survival guide for newly minted five-year-olds-and the parents watching them enter the big leagues.

Preschool was practice. Kindergarten is the institution.

Now there are desks. Cubbies. Hall passes. Cafeteria power structures. Line leader politics. Fire drills. Automatic toilets. Giant backpacks. Chocolate milk negotiations. And somehow, everyone expects a five-year-old to walk in a straight line like a tiny professional.

Written by a six-year-old expert who is basically grown now, this hilarious field manual teaches rookies how to navigate the daily chaos of school with confidence, strategy, and just enough dramatic overreaction.

Perfect for kids starting Kindergarten, parents preparing for the next milestone, and anyone who understands that a backpack full of rocks is not clutter-it's a mobile base of operations.

A NOTE FOR THE PARENTS:

While this book is officially listed for ages 5 to 8, it is a dual-audience read-aloud book. It features longer, sharper text blocks than a standard early picture book, giving kids the school-survival comedy and adults the joke behind the joke.

Read it together, laugh at the chaos, and prepare your rookie for the rules of the institution.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0H8G8DN6F
• ISBN13: 9798186742029
• Release Date: July 2026
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 42 Pages
• Weight: 0.27 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.1" x 8.5" x 8.5"