How to Succeed with Men: Love Is a Riddle. We Have the Answer

by David Copeland, Ron Louis, Ron Louis

Book Overview

Forget The Rules. At last, there's a guide to what men really want from a relationship written by the reigning experts on the subject: men Gender studies specialists Ron Louis and David Copeland deliver the targeted, no-nonsense advice any single or divorced woman needs to find a good man. While publicizing their first team effort, How to Succeed with Women, Ron and David received many requests from the female audiences wanting to know when...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0735201404
• ISBN13: 9780735201408
• Release Date: January 2000
• Publisher: Prentice Hall Press
• Length: 464 Pages
• Weight: 0.95 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.5" x 8.2"

Customer Reviews

A Must Read if You're Not as Good at Dating as You'd Like...

I'm a very well-educated, attractive and social woman who has had mediocre luck with men. I haven't found many I'm interested in and those I've found haven't turned out to have the qualities I want. Many men I was interested in became good friends but not romantic partners. I've always thought part of it was that I have never understood men, what motivates them, what they are looking for in a relationship and how they think. I also tend to get too carried away at the beginning of a relationship by the newness and passion to keep my wits about me and make a good decision as to whether the guy is really right for me. If you're anything like me, then you need to read this book! The authors tell women to put pen to paper and decide what they really want in a partner. Then they say that it's OK to be picky and you don't have to keep dating someone if he doesn't measure up to your "list." They also explain what motivates and interests men in relationships (the area I needed the most work in) and why you need to nurture your partner to keep his romantic interest alive. They also give good tips for testing the man to be sure that he really is good enough for you (and they don't tell you what that is, they let you define that for yourself). I don't agree with the reviewers who say that this book is one sided and it directs women to cater only to men's needs. I actually think they do a good job of matching up women's needs with men's and they give a great game plan for trying to satisfy both. Being in my late 30's, I think I'm at a point now where I'm ready to hear what the authors have to say. I think the reviewers who characterize the authors' point of view as frat boy or chauvinistic are still at the point in their maturity where they don't want to acknowledge that men and women ARE JUST DIFFERENT and you aren't sacrificing your independence or yourself just because you make your man a priority! I think they also haven't acknowledged that relationships take work, and you need to do what men need, not what YOU think they need! Highly recommended!!

The best advice I ever got - fantastic book!

This book changed my life. I had a history of dating men who treated me like I was an afterthought and I kept putting up with it. This book teaches you to 1) decide what your goal is (boyfriend, marriage, casual dating), 2) decide what qualities you want in a man, and 3) don't date anyone more than a few times if he doesn't have those qualities. It was hard but if I could tell on a first or second date that he didn't have certain qualities that I wanted (like humility or generosity) then I politely declined when he asked me out again. My friends said I was being too harsh because I was so ruthless. They said that nobody's perfect and I was being too inflexible. But I stuck with it because what I'd been doing hadn't made me meet the love of my life. So after four months I met a man who had EVERY SINGLE QUALITY on my list! We got married a year later and have now been married for 8 wonderful months. My friends now say that I'm the poster child for successful dating! This book is the reason that I had the courage not to settle for someone who would stand me up repeatedly or make me pay every time we went out. Update: we just celebrated our two year wedding anniversary in May and have a beautiful new baby!

Get the Scoop on Men

I'm a man who read "How to Succeed with Women" after so many dating failures. It seemed like all of my friends were finding successful relationships and getting married where I was struggling just to have a date once and a while. I devoured David and Ron's "Women" text with zeal for its specificity of detail.I couldn't help but read their "Men" novel to see how they advised women about us. Their candor to women surprised and impressed me. This is not a book for working on yourself via introspection (although there are some great ones out there) nor does it preach female subordination to men. It's about how to play the female side of the dating game successfully by learning what's going on for men on their side. Look elsewhere if you want broader metaphors for the two sexes a la "Mars" and "Venus" explanations. Likewise, if you don't need any great detail, then read "The Rules" instead (read "The Rules" regardless).However, if you're beating yourself up for always attracting the wrong kind of mate or perhaps frequently seeming to scare off the right kind, etc., then see if the first couple of chapters don't jump out at you. The authors know that the market for relationship books already overflows with oblique, generalized instruction to women about men. Appreciate their device in writing as one man speaks to another in order to offer you a more direct understanding of mens' thought processes. As the saying goes: "Take what works for you and leave the rest."-reformed Sensitive New Age Guy

This book is great!

I don't understand the negative reviews of this book--did we read the same book? Sure, it's written by men, to help women understand men, and sure, the authors are pretty honest about "harsh realities," but I actually found that pretty useful and even refreshing. Maybe that's what scared some women off.If you are looking for a book that doesn't try to sugarcoat relationships with men, and which is a lot more useful than any Venus-Mars type book, then I think you should get this book. It's extremely specific and covers an incredible amount of stuff, from deciding what you want, flirting, all the way to some amazing stuff about how to talk to men about getting a commitment--stuff I never would have figured out on my own. Since I started using the stuff in this book, I have had MUCH more success with men--they like being around me more, and I've been able to get more guys in front of me and both test and reward them to sort them out and to keep things moving forward. I haven't found "the one" yet, but I really feel like this book has helped me have a chance at doing that. I suggest you buy this book.

I'm actually understanding men better because of this book!

I'll admit that when I got this book I was a little skeptical. I'm currently in a relationship, and even though a lot of this book focused on finding a guy (this part was good by the way), I really got a lot out of the other parts. I've read a couple of books on the subject including "The Rules" and "What Men Want" and never really felt like I got much practical advice. This book isn't about mind games like "The Rules" and it has much more meat to it than "What Men Want". I really am starting to feel like I understand men and what motivates them to be in committed relationships! I've changed just a few things and have already noticed a difference in my relationship.The authors did a good job helping me to get inside a guys head and really understand what usually scares men away and what motivates men to stay. I never realized how important it was for a guy to be my "hero" and for him to feel like he was winning my heart. I really get it now and am seeing what a positive impact it can have on my relationship! I never understood why I couldn't get the kind of commitment I wanted from a man. The authors give some great advice in the commitment chapters! That part was my favorite! They help to get the "commitment conversation" off the ground without blowing it!I'd recommend this book to women looking for relationships, as well as to women in relationships that would like to step things up a notch or just improve they way they communicate with their guy. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!