How To Get A Date Worth Keeping: Be Dating In Six Months Or Your Money Back

by Henry Cloud

Book Overview

De-mystify dating once and for all Dr. Henry Cloud addresses common dating issues and presents a "how to" guide for getting to know yourself and your date, so you can find (and keep) the love of your... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0310262658
• Release Date: February 2005
• Publisher: Zondervan
• Length: 235 Pages
• Weight: 0.51 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.0" x 1.1" x 5.3"

Customer Reviews

Married over a decade thanks to this book

I am not a Christian of any kind. I read this book when I was 32, after several years of dating with the intention of getting married if I met the right guy. Three years later I met my husband, and I definitely didn't know right away, but this book encouraged me to keep getting to know him for months before dating exclusively. I might have met my husband earlier if our dating websites had looser criteria: he limited himself geographically to exclude where I lived for the two years before I met him and I excluded him on religiousness category. I might have also met him earlier if I'd been honest enough with myself to avoid the committed relationships that were clearly at the time either wrong for me or too early to commit to.

Such insight

I must honestly say that this book revolutionized my outlook on dating. Unlike other books written about dating by Christian authors, Cloud acknowledges the workings of the human mind throughout the book, a true benefit of his psychological knowledge. He raises all completely valid points, the most eye-opening of which for me was, an analogy of Tiger Woods. It read something to the effect of, "Tiger Woods had the goal of winning more major tournaments than any golfer in history. What if he would have said, 'The only tournaments I will play in will be major tournaments'? That's absurd. So why do people insist on dating only people they see themselves marrying?" That really hit home for me, because for so long I fell into the trap of thinking that dating is about marriage, when Cloud points out that it is about meeting new and interesting people, having fun, and learning much more about yourself in the unique environment which dating alone can provide. I wholeheartedly recommend this book for any single person, Christian or not. Unlike a lot of other dating books I've read, Cloud's philosophies actually make logical and practical sense versus those of other authors (ie: "I Kissed Dating Goodbye"). I really cannot say enough good about this book, nor adequately summarize the profound truths therein. It is an easy read, entertaining, and eye-opening. You will not regret taking the time to read this book.

Changed my life

I couldn't figure out what I was doing wrong, but this book really revolutionalized my thinknig about dating. I definitely recommend it; and so far it's been VERY successful. This is one of my favorite paragraphs: Are you content with your life? Are you seeking a relationship to cure loneliness? What are you expecting marriage to cure for you? Do you see marriage as a romantic fantasy or some kind of unending bliss? Do you want to get married to prove that you are ok? Bottom line: If you "have to get married" to feel good, have a full life, feel content, have a purpose, or fulfil any other reason, you better take a hard look at that. Get a full life first, Get healed first. Get your loneliness cured first. In short, learn how to have a full life as a single person.

How to Find a Dating Book Worth Reading (and Keeping)

This book is really useful. It is a Christian dating book that is relevant to the modern world and encourages you to tackle any issues that might be holding you back. One of the best things about the book is that it gives detailed advice about how to 'sort yourself out' before you begin searching for a mate. The author says that if you are looking for marriage as a way to make yourself happy and fulfilled then you need to take a step back and find out how to make yourself happy and fulfilled as a single person first. The author also encourages you to think about the ideal partner you would want, and then try to develop these characteristics yourself, so you would be the sort of person they would be attracted to. The 'system' for dating described in the book is all about getting your numbers up and meeting new people. Dr Cloud suggests that you try to talk to five new men / women a week to become used to talking to others and open up the potential for dating. Whilst this is a scary suggestion to me, as I am naturally reserved person who enjoys solo hobbies, I feel that it is achievable in the long run and it is a good basis for starting to meet new people. There are some really great chapters in the book and I think most people would learn a lot from reading them and choosing which ideas are right for them to follow. As with most books, I didn't agree with absolutely everything in it. For example, Dr Cloud suggests joining some kind of accountability group and submitting to the advice given to you. Something like this really wouldn't work for me and I'd prefer to just talk to a close family member instead and then make my own decision. I also think that some of the advice is more suited to people with extrovert personalities (i.e. those with a busy social life, more outgoing types) whereas people who are introverts (like me!) generally prefer to spend time alone, are less social and have fewer friends. However, I think there is a lot to be learned from this book no matter what type of person you are. Overall, this book is a thought-provoking read and I will continue to refer to it in the future. Highly recommended.

Straight forward yet thought provoking!

"How to get a date worth keeping" was an excellent book. It challenged me to look at motives behind dating, expected outcomes and to be prepared to accept ownership for my participation (or lack thereof). It used everyday common excuses as a precursor to elaborate on the real issue(s) that people are in the dark about. I liked the fact that it made me consider dating in a totally different aspect than I have in the past. I also liked how "real" the author came across. No psychology mumbo jumbo just everyday common language that drove home the point and left me relating to the book. I think if you're open to "stretching" yourself and growing as a person and incorporating dating into your life, than this might be a book that will help you. A couple side notes. The author is Christian, so his book places heavy emphasis on making sure your spiritual side is examined just as is your physical and emotional. However, the aspect I liked best about the book is he advocated common sense to pitfalls or ruts that people fall into, and I for one will be making my roommate from college read this book because there were so many parts of the book that screamed her. So I hope that helps! Enjoy!