How to Fail as a Novelist

by Michael Crawley and Michael Crawley

No Synopsis Available.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 096813873X
• ISBN13: 9780968138731
• Release Date: February 2000
• Publisher: Pug Enterprises
• Length: 158 Pages
• Weight: 0.32 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 5.0" x 8.0"

Customer Reviews

A

Writing is a serious business that must also be joyful in order to prevent a descent into madness. So, what better way to avoid the asylum for wannabe authors than to learn how to get published by boning up on "How to Fail As A Novelist"?Michael Crawley's clever approach to teaching tells us, for example, how to hide our natural style "...beneath numerous layers of crud by using these simple techniques.1) Open as many sentences as possible with 'ing' words..."Just when you've begun to laugh at the advice of this twisted teacher, Mr. Crawley goes on in the next half of the sentence to truly teach, "Open as many sentences as possible with 'ing' words, the ones the grammarians call gerunds..."And so on. It's really a painless way to get the fundamentals of writing publishable material. I strongly advise anyone who wants to be a real writer to pick up "How to Fail As A Novelist". The book is packed with pearls of wisdom focused on techniques and style that will (not) get you published. Simply refuse to apply the many principles outlined in this humourous book and you are guaranteed to fail. Get it? Good!I keep "How to Fail As A Novelist" with my other must-have reference books, "ABC of Reading" (Ezra Pound),"One Writer's Beginnings" (Eudora Welty), "Word Power Made Easy" (Norman Lewis) "The Wordsworth Dictionary of Sex" (Wordsworth Reference Series) and "More Baby Names" (Globe Digest Series). I suggest you do the same.

It's a lifesaver!

Michael Crawley teaches the basics about how to write a novel that sells, in a way that entertains. I never knew that writing amusing fiction could be so easy! My buddy Felix recommened this book to me, and I'm glad he did.

The book that makes fun of "How to" books

I heard about How to Fail As aNovelist from another writer and purchased my own personal copy less than a week later. Michael Crawley is hilariously funny, making this a page turner that has to be read from cover to cover without stopping. On the last page, you want nothing more than to start over again. The novel is so entertaining it's hard to believe you are actually learning something...but you definitely are!There is not a better writing teacher for new writers to turn to than Mr Crawley. I was going to keep it on my writing desk, to use when I'm sweating through my own novel but I have to go get another copy. I loaned it to a friend and she refuses to return it.Caresse

Ermintrude The Marvel

This is the first how-to or should I say, how-not-to book Ihave ever read like an exciting novel. It has adventure, humor, (lotsof humor), love, deciet, lies, tragedy (oh, the tragedy of being published!), and all the great makings of a really quick read. The Author imparts words of wisdom on selling your writing in a way that even the simple mind can follow. I found myself reading and writing all at the same time. Saying to myself, "Oh my God! I have an unpublishable story, better fix it quick!"If you never want to sit through another boring "Yawn..." how to write book, I highly reccomend this one. I couldn't put it down. I even took it to work with me. I have even reread several chapters. The Author gives really clear examples of good writing and bad writing on every subject. It is virtually dummy proof.I guess you are wondering about the title of my review. Well, I will say this, poor Ermintrude plays the part of many roles and the poor girl only gets one or two coffee breaks. You will have to buy the book if you want to know more. My reccomendation: spend the money, it is well worth it!

Laugh All The Way To The Bank

This is the first time I have read a How Not To book. Crawley is so funny, I couldn't read at night. I laughed out loud and woke my wife. For those writers who want to be a bankable commodity, this is a step-by-step on what to do to be thoroughly rejected. Read the book in a philosophical mirror. Just do everything Crawley tells you not to do and you'll laugh all the way to the bank. Crawley's sharpish pen kept poking me in the ribs. Now, I can't wait for the next in the Avoiding Success Series.