How to Be the Best Lover: A Guide for Teenage Boys

By Howard B. Schiffer

Book Overview

How To Be The Best Lover - A Guide for Teenage Boys' is the first book that dares to tell teenage boys the deep truth about lovemaking and teenage sexuality. For young men who are coming of age, 'How... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0972363904
• ISBN13: 9780972363907
• Release Date: March 2004
• Publisher: Heartful Loving Press
• Length: 176 Pages
• Weight: 0.88 lbs.

Customer Reviews

Every Parent of Every Child Should Own this Book

I am the mother of three daughters, ages 16, 18, and 22. I had heard about this book several years ago, and had looked for it over the years at our local bookstores. Realizing that I was never going to find it locally, I purchased the book online and read it immediately. I have since insisted that my husband read it, all three of my daughters have read it, and it has since moved on to the boys they are involved with. I wish I could order copies for every middle- and high-school student in America! As parents, we were a little squeamish at first about passing it along to the guys our girls are involved with, essentially because we are uncomfortable in thinking about our children in such intimate situations. But because since we want our daughters to be able to enjoy their physical relationships and to be treated with respect, tenderness, and love throughout their lives, we realize that they need to be knowledgeable in not only the "what goes where when and how" but also in asking for consideration and sensitivity from their partners. Having a book to share with those partners, which provides an awareness of both the physical and emotional impact of sexual activity, and which provides a way to initiate some very important conversations is a blessing. When so many children are engaging in sexual activity blindly, without conversation, without information except for what they may learn from their equally ignorant friends, from television sit-coms, or god forbid, lyrics pumped into their heads via the misogynistic music industry, this book is the best gift a parent can give their children. I'm sure that there are many people who don't believe that young people should be given this information, particularly at the age the book was initially written to reach. Every parent will, of course, have to make that decision regarding their own children and according to their own hearts. Admittedly, the language is frank and it is a little startling at first to read a book that is devoid of euphemisms for body parts or functions, while at the same time providing the current slang terms in helpful sidebar sections. What is most obviously missing here is the typical lecturing or moralizing about the "shoulds" or "shouldn'ts" of sexual activity, which the author, thankfully, leaves to the discretion of the reader (or his/her parents). Those parents who believe that sex is something that MUST be saved until marriage, or who believe that sex is not a subject worthy of discussion will not agree with the notion of providing this book for teenagers. But if you hope for a healthy, happy, respectful and loving relationship for your children, as teenagers or married adults, this book provides the first steps on a path to that end.

Wonderful support for parents and teenagers!

I recieved my copy of Howard Schiffer's "How to be the Best Lover: A Guide for Teenage Boys," with eager anticipation as I have two teenage children. My son is 18 and just started college. I am delighted that Eric is so much better off than I was so far as having close loving relationships with other young men and women. I am all too painfully aware that my own involvement with Eric as a father in talking about sex has been far from what it should be. So when I read Howard Schiffer's short, but very real and moving account of his own awkward determination to talk to his son about sex in a meaningful way, I felt connected to him. As I read the book, I was very impressed with his style and substance. You know you are onto something good and true when it embraces paradox. "How to be the Best Lover" is bold and sensitive, sacred and profane, funny and serious. Schiffer covers the practical realities of sex, but more importatnly, he supports and encourages an exploration of authentic intimacy and is not at all cowed by the specters of fear and shame that so erode healthy, robust sexuality. I got the book with my son in mind, but as I read it, I found myself talking about sex with my 14-year-old daughter who still lives with me. I liked the book so much that I offered it to her. Vanessa spent an evening with it and returned it to me. I am now going to pass it on to my son when he comes home to visit from college. I was already aware of James Prescott's cross-cultural research, which found that next to carrying and breastfeeding babies, the best way to differentiate between peaceful and violent cultures was whether there was a loving and supportive embrace of teenage sexuality. It took me a very long time to partially recover from a repressed and distorted sexual conditioning, to get to a point in adulthoood where I could enjoy relatively robust sexual intimacy. That ordeal I share with so many fellow adults is not necessary and inevitable. It is not about promiscuity or abstinence, or any of the dynamics that go with fear and shame. It is about how to support our young people to really enjoy authentic intimacy. I for one need all the help I can get to pass on as little of my own sexual distress as possible to my children. I highly recommend "How to be the Best Lover" for parents and to share with their teenagers.