How to Be an Ex-Footballer

By Peter Crouch

The first truly insider guide to being a Premiership footballer, from Britain's funniest sporting icon

Very funny on almost every page, wonderfully self-deprecating and very sharp on the ludicrous behaviour of the modern player' -Sunday Times
'The funniest man in British sport' - Metro
**ASunday TimesSports Book of the Year****Shortlisted for the National Book Awards****Longlisted for theTelegraphSports Book Awards Autobiography of the Year**
You become a footballer because you love football. And then you are a footballer, and you're suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one team-mate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate.
So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a football before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower-gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror.
We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media and try to ensure that we never again pay 250 for a haircut that should have cost a tenner. We'll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson's assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions.
I am Peter Crouch. This isHow To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1529106605
• ISBN13: 9781529106602
• Release Date: August 2023
• Publisher: Ebury Press
• Length: 304 Pages
• Weight: 0.48 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 4.9" x 7.7"