How to Be a Perfect Stranger (5th Edition): The Essential Religious Etiquette Handbook

by Arthur J. Magida and Stuart M. Matlins

Book Overview

Updated and Revised
Includes Glossary of Popular Religious Symbols

We North Americans live in a remarkably diverse society, and it's increasingly common to be invited to a wedding, funeral or other religious service of a friend, relative or coworker whose faith is different from our own. These can be awkward situations....

What will happen?
What do I do? What do I wear? What do I say?
What should I...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1594732949
• ISBN13: 9781594732942
• Release Date: November 2010
• Publisher: Skylight Paths Publishing
• Length: 432 Pages
• Weight: 1.30 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.1" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

A 'How-To' Guide For Visiting Services Among The World's Religions

Not only is this an invaluable reference book that provides reassuring guidance on how to act, what to wear, what to expect from the liturgical services of virtually all world religions, it also gives a concise, handy detailing of exactly what each of the religions believes in, teaches, and how and when it got its start. Handy for when you're about to attend a wedding or other life-cycle event within a faith with which you're unfamiliar, or if you're simply going to be a guest at a religion's worship service. A well-written, informative study done in plain, everyday language.

The essentials of religious etiquette for most faiths

"How to Be a Perfect Stranger" is the ultimate reference on how to act and what to expect when attending a religious service at any of the most common religions in America. Would you know what to do if a Hindu invited you to their infant's naming ceremony? What if a Christian Scientist family had a death in the family and you were invited to the funeral? Or what if you were invited to a Latter Day Saint, African American Methodist Episcopal, Lutheran, or Mennonite service, would you know the appropriate dress and order of service? All these questions and more are answered in this book. The section on each faith has a short history of the faith, appropriate dress for service, ritual objects used in the service, parts of the sanctuary, appropriate conduct during the service, what to expect after the service, a section on dogma and ideology, celebrated holy days and festivals, various ceremonies related to the life cycle (births, marriage, initiation, funerals, mourning) and what to expect at those ceremonies. If you are seeking understanding of others of a different faith then this is an important place to start. Faiths examined include African American Methodist Churches, Assemblies of God, Baha'i, Baptist, Buddhist, Christian Church, Christian Science, Churches of Christ, Episcopalian and Anglican, Hindu, Islam, Jehovah's Witness, Jewish, Lutheran, Mennonite/Amish, Methodist, Mormon (Latter Day Saints), Native American/First Nations, Orthodox Churches, Pentecostal Church of God, Presbyterian, Quaker (Religious Society of Friends), Reformed Church in America/Canada, Roman Catholic, Seventh-day Adventist, Sikh, Unitarian Universalist, United Church of Canada, and United Church of Christ. Filled with clear information that will allow anyone to feel perfectly comfortable visiting any one of these faiths whether for curiosity, courtesy, or whatever reason, it is a very highly recommended read that should be on the shelf of anyone sensitive to the faiths of others.

A great book on religious and cultural etiquette

As someone who has majored in religion, and a long time seeker, this book has been sooo incedibly wonderful. This book, as well as Volume 2, explains what you can and can not do, what you should and should not do. For example, when it is respectful leave a ceremony, what you should wear, is photography permitted. It even briefly explains the ceremony. I found a few errors, however. The Hindu customs for an infant are a little mixed up, but 98% of the book is fabulous!

This book should be on the desk. . .

. . .of every member of the clergy in America. (As well as on a lot of other desks and bookshelves).In the America of the 21st century, all of us have friends, relatives, etc. who practice their faith in different manners. Most of us will have occasion to attend services in houses of worship other than our own. This book is a guide on proper behavior under these circumstances.As a Christian clergyman, I have personally have had occasion to attend service in almost every major American Christian denomination, as well as Jewish temple services. Most members of the clergy that I know are in similar positions. All of us are passionate about our own faith -- but none of us want to be accidentally offensive to others.Some might ask, "Why should I be concerned about how to behave at someone else's religious service? I never expect to go. They don't worship the way I do. They don't believe in the same God that I believe in, etc." For persons with these attitudes, here are some points to consider:1) You may be surprised at the type of service you find yourself. A wedding. A funeral. A christening. A Bar-Mitzpah. The list goes on. 2) There are certain situations in which NOT attending can cause MORE offense.3) Put yourself in the shoes of another. Would you want your Jewish or Muslim co-worker to support YOU if YOU lost a loved one?4) Showing respect to another, WITHOUT compromising your own beliefs is an excellent way to share your own faith.The list goes on.This book does not suggest in any way that anyone compromise their own beliefs. It does not attempt to convert or sway anyone to a different way of thinking. What it DOES do, and does very well, is provide, to an increasingly discourteous society, the minimal rules of courtesy that persons today are no longer routinely taught.Courtesy is the oil that lubricates all social interactions. This book helps provide this service.

A Welcome Gift for Our Times

Children of my generation were taught to be polite but not to attend a church or temple outside our denomination. What a tragedy. For all our assumed good manners we missed opportunities to broaden our understanding and thus, our appreciation, of others. In a true exercise of good manners, this book is an open door, a welcome gift, to come and appreciate the variety of worship there is today.