Alright, alright, alright. Women say I sound just like Matthew McConaughey. And owning half of Texas, life can't get any better. Until my inheritance is threatened by my b*tch of a half-sister. Well sugar, that sh*t ain't happenin' The only way to stop her is to get married. It's in my parents' will. Fortunately, I know just the candidate - Amanda. She lights me up as bright as the Dallas sky. All I can think of is her riding me cowgirl while wearing my Stetson. But there's more to it. She's actually making my playboy @ss consider settling down. I'll do everything in my power to win her over. Including something I have never done before, introduce her to my son...
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