God Needs A Wife

By Elena Monti

The Old Testament is a record of miracles, majesty... and a startling amount of unsupervised chaos.

We are taught that God is love. We are taught that God is order. But if you bravely open the Old Testament-past the famous verses and into the deep cuts-you find a Creator who seems to be running the universe on infinite power and absolutely zero sleep.You see a God who reacts to a bad haircut joke by sending bears to maul 42 children.You see a God who creates a law demanding a woman's hand be cut off for a specific, awkward mistake during a fight.You see a God who threatens his own people with "emerods" (hemorrhoids) and madness just for breaking the rules.
These aren't just stories of judgment. They feel like the actions of a brilliant, exhausted Bachelor who has been managing humanity alone for eternity.

It is time for a loving intervention.

God Needs a Wife? takes you on a tour of 79 authentic, head-scratching biblical moments that prove even the Almighty could use a Partner. Someone to stand beside Him when the anger flares up. Someone to gently lower the lightning bolt. Someone to whisper, "Honey, I know they are annoying, but let's not melt their eyes today. Let's just give them a timeout."

This book is equal parts hilarious and surprisingly tender. It is a cosmic performance review that asks the question: Was the fire and fury actually a cry for help?

Read it for the shock. Keep it for the laughter. Remember it for the prayer that changes everything.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0G3G53TSW
• ISBN13: 9798275000917
• Release Date: November 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 86 Pages
• Weight: 0.28 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.2" x 6.0" x 9.0"