Glory is a Liability

By Brittney Pilarcik

Rome didn't fall in a day. But this ludus might.

Maximus Decimus Meridianus Flatulentus-"Max" to his creditors, "That Idiot" to the rest of the Mediterranean-owes money to people who don't officially exist. Desperate, he signs a contract he doesn't read. The small print guarantees death, a plank for a bed, and wine that costs extra.

Welcome to the Ludus Gallicus, a gladiator school in the hills of Nemausus where the sand is imported, the owner drinks like he's trying to forget something specific, and the training post has developed a personality, a name, and possibly a grudge. His name is Brian. Do not make eye contact with Brian.

Max is not alone in his bad decisions. His fellow novices include:

Felix, a former Alexandrian accountant who treats combat like a depreciation scheduleBrigitte, a Gaulish woman who forged her way in and laminates her grudgesDagobert, a towering Gaul who speaks only in third-person proverbs and geological timeSilenus, an elderly Greek who definitely, absolutely, under no circumstances fought at MarathonThrax, a mountain Thracian with strong opinions about moisturizerBrutus, a silent giant who communicates through grunts and wears a bucket as spiritual armor

When the Governor's Wife-bored, rich, and famously indecisive-demands a private performance of The Fall of Troy, the Ludus must become a theater troupe overnight. What follows is a cascade of improvised deaths, rolling barrels, flying wigs, and Brian's long-awaited revenge.

"Glory Is a Liability" is a sharply comic play about the business of survival.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0H28FPVJW
• ISBN13: 9798235983724
• Release Date: May 2026
• Publisher: Brittney Pilarcik
• Length: 98 Pages
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.
• Dimensions: 11.0" x 0.2" x 8.5"