Getting Past the Affair: A Program to Help You Cope, Heal, and Move On--Together or Apart

By Donald H. Baucom, Kristina Coop Gordon, Douglas K. Snyder

Book Overview

"How could my partner have done this?" "What was my role?" "Can this relationship be saved?" Discovering that your partner has had an affair can feel like an earthquake. Long after the first jolt, the emotional aftershocks can make it hard to be there for your family, go about your daily business, and think clearly about your options. Where can you turn for help? From award-winning couple therapists, this compassionate guide has already provided support and expert advice to tens of thousands of readers. Updated throughout, the second edition confronts the myriad challenges facing couples today. Drawing on the latest research, the authors share vivid stories of diverse partners struggling with infidelity in all its forms--sexual or emotional, in-person or online. Learn how to process what happened, cope with anger and mistrust, and map a way to move forward, whether separately or together.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1462547486
• ISBN13: 9781462547487
• Release Date: September 2023
• Publisher: Guilford Publications
• Length: 294 Pages
• Weight: 0.88 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Important (but painful) information during a very confusing time

Experiencing partner betrayal is incredibly disorienting. After the initial shock there is a massive amount of work to be done and a lot of decisions to make. I don’t recommend this for someone in the first few months of discovering an affair. Maybe after reading something like The Betrayal Bind by Michelle Mays which I think is more validating of the struggles and calming for the nervous system. Get some additional healing work under your belt before this book (self care, eat healthy, enough sleep, therapy and/or medication, support from friends/family, counseling from your church if you’re religious, a support group, or whatever else works for you). The book does its best not to place the blame for the affair on the betrayed partner while still supplying much needed information. Depending where you are in recovery, or how supportive the unfaithful partner is, whichever way you’re leaning (reconciling or separating), some of this information may be painful and triggering. Although in the long run, is probably necessary for full self recovery. Like any of the infidelity self help books, take only what is useful and relevant and leave the rest. I recommend skipping parts that don’t relate to your situation to not “borrow pain” in a way when surely if you’re considering this book, you already have enough of your own. While working your way through this, listen to your body, take breaks when necessary and have self care. No reason to speed run. If you’ve already read a few of these books, just reading the last two chapters is probably sufficient. It basically sums up the previous chapters. The exercises are thought provoking, some may be difficult for you. Consider bringing the more troublesome ones to someone trusted your support network. Sorry if you’re a part of this stupid club. Wish you all the best.