Get Outta My Face!: How to Reach Angry, Unmotivated Teens with Biblical Counsel

by Rick Horne

Book Overview

Here's a fact: Angry, unmotivated, and disinterested teens, whether Christian or not, are confused, insecure, and often blind to everything except what they want right now. Their desires and actions have been corrupted and polluted by sin.That's why they have a problem. Here's another fact: Angry, unmotivated, and disinterested teens, whether Christian or not, are made in the image of God. This means that beneath their corrupted desires and actions...

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0981540074
• ISBN13: 9780981540078
• Release Date: January 2009
• Publisher: Shepherd Press
• Length: 176 Pages
• Weight: 0.57 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.5" x 5.4" x 8.4"

Customer Reviews

Needed subject

I found the book to be encouraging and helpful. I work as a juvenile probation officer and I found the book to address angry youth in a practical and spiritual way. Helping youth is not just about us, but about the glory of God.

Communication Triage for Teenagers

Triage is the word that came to mind as I read Get Outta My Face! , by Rick Horne. The book was particularly intriguing to me as the parent of three teenagers (pray for me). Horne's goal in the book is to build a communication bridge between concerned adults and teenagers who have closed themselves off. It doesn't take much time around young people before you encounter the "get outta my face" attitude. It can be one of the most frustrating experiences a concerned adult can have. Whether the adult is a youth worker, a pastor, a school counselor or a parent--when that attitude is encountered, it seems to be impenetrable. Control is firmly in the hands of the teen and it seems the only recourse is nagging, yelling or physical action. As a parent who has resorted to each of those actions, none of them work. They only serve to deepen resentment and build the communication barrier higher. The techniques in this book can break through that barrier. Despite the tremendously practical and effective model Horne presents, that is not what I was most impressed by. Practical models abound in counseling materials. Many are effective at generating a modicum of desired reform--they "work". Even though they seem to work, very few are directed at the root of the problem and most refuse to even acknowledge it. I was impressed that this book begins with the right foundation and ends with the right goal. The purpose of the book is the bridge, so it does not expound on either side of the bridge. But it does clearly state what both sides are. The side where the bridge begins is the condition of the counselor's heart. Before a counselor can properly deal with a teenager's sinful behavior, he must deal with his own sin. The side where the bridge ends is the condition of the teenager's heart. Once the barriers to communication have been breached, the Gospel must be effectively communicated. While dealing extensively with either of those sides is beyond the scope of the book, Horne clearly states their necessity. This book is excellent for what it is--triage. Triage doesn't cure all of what ails the patient. Triage patches patients up enough to get them to where real healing can happen. A changed heart is the only cure for all people--including teenagers. Counselors, youth workers, pastors and parents can't change a teenager's heart. Even the teenager himself can't change his heart. Only a saving work of Christ in a person's life can change a heart. Romans 10:13-14 says, for whoever will call on the name of the Lord will be saved. How then will they call on Him in whom they have not believed? How will they believe in Him whom they have not heard? And how will they hear without a preacher? And how will they hear if they have built up a barrier to communication? How will they hear the Gospel if their chief response is, "Get outta my face"? Rick Horne provides the model to tear down the barriers and build the bridge that will allow us to communicate the Gospel in a way t

Right On Target!

Rick Horne's Get Outta My Face! is right on target. I have 5 kids (3 teens) and have had the opportunity to put this book to the test. Rick has done a masterful job of helping me to recognize who I am before Christ and my responsibility to help my children see the glory of God as they walk through their teenage years. Through this material, that is so clearly laid out in this book, I have been able to come along side my teens instead of exasperating them, and challenge them to rise up to be the young men and women they know that God has created them to be... and they have been able to do so. I am excited for every parent who reads and profits from this book as I have. By learning to `listen big,' `clarify narrow,' `look wide,' and `plan small' you will have the opportunity to redefine your relationship with your teen. This is not a prescriptive list of do's and don'ts. At the heart of this book is scriptural truth that will ultimately allow you and your teen to see the "Glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ" (2Cor 4:6) more clearly, and that can't help but be displayed in your relationship. I strongly recommend this book to all parents, whether your teen is acting out or not.

Review [...]

One of the most frustrating things about working with teenagers is the difficulty of understanding their point of view and rationale and developing good communication with them. For parents, counselors and youth pastors alike it is often difficult to build trust and help students see the consequences of their actions, suggest positive change and help them see God's plan for their life because of these communication barriers. These conversations are more likely to end in an eruption of anger than in true heart change. If you are a parent or have responsibility for counseling or mentoring teenagers, Rick Horne's new book Get Outta My Face: How to Reach Angry, Unmotivated Teens with Biblical Counsel is a must read. Horne is very specific in his purpose for the book. It isn't a parenting manual or a guide for teaching spiritual truth. Instead, it is a biblically rooted guide for establishing a bridge of communication with teenagers, helping them see that they make choices that have consequences, and ultimately about how to bring about change in their lives and point them to ultimate life change in the gospel of Christ. Horne does an excellent job of remaining thoroughly biblical while offering solid, practical advice for working with unmotivated teenagers. The book is divided into three parts. In Part I, Horne does some background work on how the Bible describes teenagers and how concerned adults should view and approach them. Teenagers are sinners in need of God's grace, but the Bible respects them as young adults and gives instruction for growing in wisdom and life transformation. Parents and counselors should respect them as fellow image bearers of God and recognize that, though tainted with sin, underneath sinful behavior are "wise wants" that flow from creation in God's image. Counselors need to recognize their own sinfulness and limitations and have a genuine love and concern for the teenager before entering a counseling setting. In Part II, Horne transitions to the practical advice for developing communication and seeing students recognize their choices, own their behavior and make changes. He instructs counselors to "Listen Big" before offering advice. Try to hear the wise wants behind the students wants and behavior. Affirm these wise wants without affirming sinful behavior. Second, expose the realities of the teens experience. Help them to see the consequences of their choices and the limits of their control. Third, look for "exceptions," solutions from the past that produced desirable outcomes for the teenager. Help them to see how different behavior then could be applied to current undesirable outcomes. Finally he encourages counselors to plan small. Help the teenager develop an achievable, measurable plan and hold them accountable to it. In the final part, Horne brings the entire discussion back to the gospel. He points out that the system he develops is seriously defective if the gospel isn't the ultimate destination bec

A Must-Read For Parents of Teens

I have spent the last thirteen years of my life trying to forget my teenage years. It's not that these years were really so bad and it's not like I went through a period of utter rebellion as do so many teens (for which I give thanks to God). It's more that I had little joy in these years and felt that I was mostly just putting in time as I waited to grow up. What I do remember is many times of disobedience and disregard for my parents. I loved them and hated them. I needed them and yet wanted to go about life on my own. Though I may not have told them so in so many words, many times I just wanted them out of my face. I remember those years well--more so than I would like. Though there is a part of me that looks with great anticipation to my own children reaching their teenage years, there is a part of me that is terrified. From what I've observed of myself, my siblings, and so many other teens, they are years guaranteed to be filled with both joys and sorrows. Rick Horne knows well such joy and pain. He has fathered six teenagers and has counseled hundreds more. This is a man who has a lot to share about leading teenagers through these years. This is the subject of his new book, Get Outta My Face. According to the author, this book "aims to summarize common experiences parents have with angry teens and illustrate how biblical principles can bring remarkably clear and useful light to these situations. The aim is to position these truths on the bottom shelf so we can all reach them and put them to use with angry, unmotivated teens--even if we've made serious mistakes in our previous efforts. We all want to help these young people recognize their self-destructive ways, learn new and effective methods of dealing with life, and ultimately come into a deep and life-changing relationship with Christ. That's the goal of this book." One of the book's foremost principles is that presentation matters. A parent's first words to an angry teen will strongly push the interaction to one of two outcomes--the words being received or the words being rejected. The best and most valuable counsel may be rejected if it is not properly presented. This is not to say that the author teaches manipulation. Instead, he simply shows how a parent can approach a teen with respect even when he or she is not looking for any help. As Horne instructs parents or youth leaders or anyone who seeks to lead and guide teens, he follows this pattern. The first part is "What You Must Understand to Connect with Your Teen." Here the author helps ensure the parent has a biblically-informed worldview by presenting Scripture's assessment of your angry or unmotivated teen. This is, as you might expect, the foundational information that will set the tone for all that follows. Part two is titled "What You Must Do to Help Your Teen" and this is where we find the "how-to" information. The author introduces the acronym LCLP which stands for Listen Big, Clarify Narrow, Look Wide, Plan Small. The