Have you ever sat there and thought, "I bet I could be a poet." and then you started writing a poem, looked at it with self satisfaction, got up to go take a shit and when you returned to your seat you realized you left the wrong turd in the toilet? I did that about a hyperbolic billion some-odd times. What resulted was this small helping of mediocrity you see before you. I bet you're feeling pretty superior at this moment. Well, DON'T You haven't published a goddamned thing, and most of you never wrote anything after giving up that first poem. So show a little respect for my bravery and persistence and buy my book. Besides, it's almost as cheap as toilet paper.
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