From Debate to Dialogue: Using the Understanding Process to Transform Our Conversations

By Deborah L. Flick

Book Overview

This book provides a direct method called the "Understanding Process" for moving us from debate into dialogue about any issue, especially difficult or controversial ones. As an alternative to debate... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0966367103
• ISBN13: 9780966367102
• Release Date: August 1998
• Publisher: Orchid Pubns
• Length: 147 Pages
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.5" x 0.5" x 5.5"

Customer Reviews

Phill1SPHR@aol.com, Dallas, TX

Have you ever listened to someone only to have them ultimately say to you that you weren't really listening? What was your response? Was it something like, "Sure, I was listening!" Well, what you have found is a book that gives you a recipe for developing some skills which most of us think we have mastered. Like fish in water, we don't see that what we are surrounded by is the "stuff" to which we have become accustomed. Like fish in water, we don't recognize its hold on us until we are taken out of it and asked to try something totally different. Like fish who are taken out of the water and placed on dry land, we usually gasp at the thought of trying something different for too long. Some of us don't get it and don't see the need to change. Like fish, we just want to be placed back in the water! Dr. Flick's assertion about the fact that we have become accustomed to the "Debate Culture" is right on target. She is also correct in her assertion that if we are going to "walk a mile in another's shoes" the only way to do it is to transform our conversations using what she has called the "Understanding Process". You must read the book and practice the skill to really experience how this process can impact professional and personal conversations. I have utilized the exercise she recommends in the book during a diversity exercise in an organizational setting. I started at this point because it was my observation that the group of people that I was working with had difficulty constructively discussing the topics of race and gender. I believe that before we can have healthy constructive discussion, we have to know how to carry on dialogue that allows us to embark upon the "diversity journey". The beautiful thing about the "Understanding Process" is that Dr. Flick isn't proposing that in the dialogue your objective is to change the other person's position, she is simply proposing that this is a method that you can use to begin to appreciate and value the other person's perspective. These skills are required for us to successfully challenge our assumptions in situations requiring dialogue with other human beings. Challenging our assumptions is fundamental to acquiring new knowledge and developing critical thinking skills. I have found that we can help others to begin to develop their ability to challenge their underlying assumptions utilizing critical debate. Combining this exercise with the "Understanding Process" is a recipe that strengthens the development of skills that allow for meaningful conversations. These conversations are critical to our ability to push past the awareness building "parlor games" we have become accustomed to in our pursuit of valuing diversity within organizations. Be warned! Some executives are prone to launch into difficult diversity conversations thinking they inherently have the skills Dr. Flick recommends. I have observed that the more anxious they are to "get to the

Transform heated discussions into constructive dialogue

Dr. Flick has captured the essence of Debate Culture. More importantly, she offers a way to transform heated discussions into dialogues which expand knowledge, affirm relationships, and transform debate into hope. I have seen the Understanding Process in action with peers and clients and have never seen it fail to transform discussions for groups and individuals. The Understanding Process is disarmingly simple to understand, but requires focused attention and a degree of discipline to apply successfully. Anyone needing to engage in meaningful discourse would benefit from this timely book.

Contains valuable ideas to improve communication.

This is a great book! Flick's analysis of the debate culture goes right to the heart of what's keeping us from really communicating with each other. Her suggestions for how to break away from debate to true understanding are effective and liberating. "From Debate to Dialogue" showed me why so many discussions in meetings I have been to recently have been unfruitful. If I can get several more people in my department to read this book, I believe we could discover better solutions to the problems we are working on. And we could all get there in a much better frame of mind.Contention and divisiveness seem to be on the increase these days, and it seems to me that Flick has developed a method to reduce them and to take a different path, both in everyday, personal communications and in technical or business discussions.