Forgiveness: Finding Freedom Through Reconciliation

by Avis Clendenen and Troy Martin

Book Overview

In this book, the authors explore different models of The Forgiveness Exchange. This successful model indicates that human beings can enter the experience of reconciliation that lasts into eternity. This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0824519647
• ISBN13: 9780824519643
• Release Date: February 2002
• Publisher: Crossroad Publishing
• Length: 144 Pages
• Weight: 0.35 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.4" x 5.5" x 8.2"

Customer Reviews

A welcome reprieve!

The International Forgiveness Institute, founded by educational psychologist Dr. Robert Enright, has done much to popularize, since the 1980s, a different model of forgiveness than the one presented in this book. Enright's model, now by far the most popular, requires substantial effort on the part of the offended, yet practically nothing from the offender. It's pop psychology + "Christianity lite"... yet it's the version of forgiveness most familiar to modern Evangelicals. This book is a welcome reprieve! It develops a Biblically grounded understanding of forgiveness that doesn't place unrealistic, harmful expectations upon those severely harmed by others. Though marred by ecumenicism, feminist theology, a nature/grace distinction regarding human potential, and a chapter on purgatory (which I excised from my personal copy), the bulk of this text nevertheless develops a thoroughly Biblical model of forgiveness. I wish I could recommend a book on forgiveness written by more conservative Biblical scholars, but thus far I can't. Until such is written, this is the best I've seen. Here's the view of forgiveness I synthesized in part as a result of reading this book. I've used "they" instead of he/she below for sake of brevity; I'm aware it's not grammatically correct: 1. If you're offended, overlook the offense (a) if you may have imagined it, (b) if you acknowledge extenuating circumstances that exonerate the offender from normal responsibility, or (c) if the offense was real and wrong yet inflicted by someone who has the power to injure you further in a way you can do nothing about. If none of these apply, confront the offender so they can repent and experience the freedom of moving on. Confront them out of concern for them, with their best interests at heart, and without any judgment in your heart that they'll "always be this way." Be open to hearing how you contributed to the rift in the relationship. Be ready to share responsibility in what now separates you from your offender, even if your responsibility is miniscule. 2. When you're the offender, repent... quickly. Try to understand how you have hurt the other person, even though this may make you vulnerable to being hurt in an exchange of words. Don't rationalize or justify what you did, and don't cite wrongs the other person perpetuated against you. Understand the other's perspective as much as you can. To prove your repentance, you can promise (a) to make restitution--setting things right--if at all possible, or (b) to pay tribute--making commemorative payments of time or money to provide assurance that you haven't forgotten or minimized the pain you've caused. When you've been wronged, forgive THOSE WHO REPENT. Be ready to forgive everyone; forgive when the party who wronged you actually repents. You may rightly request restitution or tribute as proof that the repenting party understands the harm they caused. 3. If a person you've confronted (or can't confront) refuses to repent, extr

Helped Me

This book was extremely well written and is a very comprehensive and healthy way to look at forgiveness. To put all the effort onto the person of the victim is just victimizing that person again. There needs to be an interpersonal dialogue for true forgiveness to take place and these two authors touched upon that well. Using true stories and especially relying on the scriptures, they make a good case for their position. Using their "method" of forgiveness helped me through a difficult personal situation. It worked.