Prior to my son's cancer diagnosis, my wife Trisha and I shared a storybook life. I was married to my childhood sweetheart, I was a dad to two wonderful little boys, and I was entering the final year of my Emergency Medicine residency training. I couldn't have dreamed of being more content than I was at the time - and I thought daily of how blessed I was. Then, cancer changed everything. Over the last 12 years, it's hard to believe that Trisha and I have tolerated so much pain. Losing our 3 year old son Callum to cancer has meant far too much hurt, struggle, and loneliness. It feels like forever since we held Callum in our arms, listened to his voice, and laughed with him, and yet in so many ways, it also seems impossible for us to have survived this long without him. Looking back, it's difficult to summarize how far we've come. Emotionally, psychologically, physically, spiritually, and cognitively, it's been a complex process of healing. Our grieving continues in various forms, encompassing sadness, anger, denial, guilt, joy, happiness, and reconstruction. We're still trying to fully accept what happened. Yet when I think of the life we have now and who we are, I'm proud of the both of us and excited for the future. As a dad, husband, physician, and person, I can attest that my life has been altered forever. Losing my son to cancer has profoundly affected how I connect with people in the world and what kind of doctor I now strive to be. Callum's journey reminds me that I need to continue walking my journey as he bravely did during his illness. I am also aware that Trisha and I continue to dream big. We've come to accept that sadness and anger will always be in our lives, but we know that joy, happiness, and fulfillment would be there too. This book provides a glimpse into our beautiful life, of finding our way home, and my family's story of love, life, and loss.
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