Bedtime Stories: Adventures in the Land of Single-Fatherhood

by Trey Ellis

How is a single dad supposed to navigate a new girlfriend into and out of his California king bed without his son or daughter noticing? For Trey Ellis, raising children while trying to find his way... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1594865299
• ISBN13: 9781594865299
• Release Date: February 2008
• Publisher: Modern Times
• Length: 294 Pages
• Weight: 1.05 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.0" x 6.2" x 8.7"

Customer Reviews

A Beautiful Memoir by a Single Dad With a Huge Heart

Trey Ellis has a big heart. A really, really big heart, and on most every page of this excellent, thoughtful, tender memoir, he shares how it's been gutted, delighted, and filled with love largely for his two children, Ava and Chet. He throws himself into each of his love affairs as if it will be his last, and never apologizes for his often grandiose visions. It's hard to not see those romantic visions as feminine on some level, perhaps because we're so used to women being the ones thinking of marriage on first sight. Ellis's descriptions of his own leaps into head over heels love and lust are told in a way that both gently mocks him as well as celebrates his sense of romantic adventure. He may know that dashing off to Europe to woo a woman is unrealistic, but that never stops him from doing it. To Ellis's credit, he never once bashes his ex-wife, even though his sometime exasperation with her mania comes through. It's clear that he still feels connected with her, in a healthy way, as the mother of his children, and their ongoing negotiations about schedules and rules form the backbone of his other relationships. The children come first and it's clear that perhaps even more than Ellis was born to be a writer, he was born to be a parent. The rhythms and responsibilities of fatherhood seem to come like second nature to him, and his keen observation of his kids' needs doesn't need to be overstated (maybe we can be spared any more memoirs that talk endlessly about sippy cups and bottles?). Ellis doesn't present his tale in an entirely straightforward manner, nor does he always make it easy for readers. There are humorous and sensuous parts to his story, but they are woven throughout with the ghosts of his parents, his mother who committed suicide at 36 and his father who died of AIDS-related illnesses. When his heart gets broken, Ellis takes the reader right along with him into the depths of his pain, yet his children are always there to bring him back from the brink. This is a refreshing read for those accustomed to sometimes repetitive parenting memoirs. Ellis doesn't lament his status as a single dad, but rather seems to value the time he spends with his children while still acknowledging the hardships and the high points (getting doted on by all the moms, single and not, at his kids' school). The greatest tension here is between his commitment to his children and his ongoing quest for romantic fulfillment. "How can a woman compete for the oceanic love I feel for my two soft miniatures? No two other being son the planet can pull my cheeks into a smile just at the thought of seeing them. Why waste time on romance when I could be learning to be a better parent?" he writes. Yet it's also clear that he is at his best, as a person and a parent, when he is rapturously in love. His various girlfriends' interactions with his kids offer examples of how such a family could be created. Ellis's storytelling here, which includes (separate) encounters with

Enjoyable and down to earth

In his memoir, Trey Ellis chronicles his glamorous -- and not so glamorous -- life as a newly divorced dad learning to navigate L.A.'s dating scene between bake sales and potty training, screenwriting and co-parenting. Despite being a single parent myself, I wasn't sure at first I'd be able to relate to Trey's experiences -- especially after reading on the book jacket that "his dates have included a model, a French actress, and even an Italian contessa." I think I've only dated royalty of the delusional variety. But Trey's account of balancing romantic yearnings with his roles as a devoted father to his two young children, and civil ex-husband to his New Age/new name ex-wife, is 100% down-to-earth, funny and heartfelt. He weaves his tales of dating with snippets of parenting and, occasionally, more painful memories of losing his parents at a young age and battling serious illness. The result is a view into what it's like to be single again: trying to forgive the past while juggling excitement, insecurity and hope for a new, uncertain future. I could relate to his experiences a lot -- even living miles (and worlds) away from L.A. And the monarchy.

The real coming of age is when you're a parent

This book surprises you.. you expect the exploits of the newly single dad (and there is plenty of that!), but this is also the heartfelt and vulnerable journey of a son, husband and father. Trey really hits the mark in inviting you into his self discovery, pain at loss and lost love, and sheer marvel and joy in his children. And for anyone familiar with his earlier novels that deal with his coming of age, this is an engaging story of how that youth grew to be the ultimate man, "dad".

Well-calibrated blend of humour and heart

I've read Ellis's "Home Repairs," which was a very funny but very male look at lovin', but I can see this one having a lot more crossover appeal. In fact, it's so "in touch with its emotions" that women readers might actually be in the majority. It's about how Ellis recovers from the crushing blow of his wife leaving him with two very young kids, and how he gradually gets back into the dating game despite overwhelming parental obligations. It's not like one of those books where the guy has been married so long that he can't relate to the dating scene, which always seems kind of bogus to me. No, the guy from Home Repairs has a nice line in overly thought-out seduction technique. His problem is the intrusion of his kids, for whom he is solely in charge and who are clearly the priority of his life, upon his attempts to a) get laid and b) find lasting romance. All in all, a fresh and funny take on a subject a lot of us might speculate upon if not actually being unfortunate enough to have to go through it ourselves.

I Can Relate

Being a single dad, this book was recommended to me by a friend. Oddly enough, she didn't even know that I've been a Trey Ellis fan since his first novel. Fast-paced, often funny, and with remarkable candor and vulnerability, Ellis does not disappoint at all with this wonderful journey through a growing, yet truly under sung experience, the single, Black father with the crazy e-wife. A great read!!!!