Fall Risk: The Memoir of a Man Who Only Wanted to Pee Alone

By Frank N Shumard

In FALL RISK: The Memoir of a Man Who Only Wanted to Pee Alone, Frank Shumard turns a five-day hospital stay into a hilariously honest, painfully relatable, and unexpectedly uplifting memoir. From the moment a bright-red "FALL RISK" wristband is slapped on him like a parole ankle monitor, Frank realizes he has entered a world where nothing is private, the bed alarms have trust issues, and nurses can smell rebellion from down the hall.

With razor-sharp humor, he chronicles:

The Bed Escape Alarm Olympics

The IV Pole Grand Prix

Popsicles: the last surviving joy in hospital cuisine

Angels in scrubs... and the occasional demon in discount perfume

And the tragic downfall of human dignity when a man just wants to stand up without triggering NASA

This is a book for anyone who has ever been a patient, loved a patient, or wondered why hospital gowns are designed by people who clearly hate humans. You'll laugh. You'll cringe. You'll question the entire healthcare d cor industry.

But most of all, you'll cheer for a man whose only goal-his Everest-is to pee without an audience.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0G3L1FJZT
• ISBN13: 9798275658521
• Release Date: November 2025
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 90 Pages
• Weight: 0.29 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.2" x 6.0" x 9.0"