Dragon-Napped by a Teleportation Muffin (and other stories) is the delightfully chaotic tale of Ophelia-a time-sideways dragon-fae-who sets out to fill a simple order and instead gets pulled into a journey she absolutely did not plan but very much needed. And the stories of Debby Kevin and the women she teaches to say things most people keep to themselves. Ophelia experiences what happens when honesty stops being optional and starts changing everything. Blending absurd magic with deeply human moments, this book captures the beginning of a journey where every step, story, and conversation leaves something behind-and nothing fits back together quite the same way afterward.
Dragon-Napped by a Teleportation Muffin is heartwarming blend of humorous fantasy adventure inspired by the true stories of real women that reminds us that we're never as alone as we think-and that sometimes the smallest truths create the biggest transformations.
Or as Ophelia Describes it:
Oh my glittering galaxies-SIT DOWN.
No, actually-SCOOT CLOSER. This is not a "yell across the room" story, this is a lean in, clutch your tea, blink slowly while your brain rearranges itself kind of situation.
School was out. The cauldrons were cold. Cheryl was off gallivanting in Ireland with a suspiciously poetic goat. I promised myself I'd rest but the universe had other ideas (rude).
It all started when I was filling a custom order. (Which, in hindsight, should have been my first red flag. Orders are not supposed to include coordinates that rearrange themselves and a note that says "Bring snacks.")
Somewhere between that and the next thing I knew, I was dragon-napped by a teleportation muffin made with time crumbles and regret berries (not recommended), landed in Spain (unexpected), and met a series of women who didn't wait to be healed, perfected, optimized, or approved by the Council of Very Serious People Who Decide When You're Allowed to Exist Out Loud(TM).
They just... told the truth. (I'm still emotionally recovering.)
Which, as it turns out, is wildly contagious.
I kept thinking, okay, I get it now. That was the lesson. I can go home.
But then the muffin would take me somewhere else and every time someone told the truth...
Something shifted.
In them.
In me.
In the world itself.
Each chapter is a meeting.
Each meeting is a story.
Each story leaves something behind.
Sometimes it's an idea that turns your world inside out.
Sometimes it's a question you can't un-ask.
Sometimes it's permission you didn't know you needed.
(Also sometimes a card appeared. Which feels relevant.)
(That last one happens more than you'd think. The universe is very into props.)
And now-
I have a stack of stories I cannot un-know.
A handful of truths that will not leave me alone.
And a very strong suspicion that this was never about the destination at all.
Sometimes the best things happen when you stop waiting to arrive...and start listening to the part of you that's been yelling the whole time.
Anyway, do you want to hear what happened next? (I should warn you. Once you start walking? The road has a funny way of introducing you to yourself.)
With snacks, mild chaos, and at least one truth you weren't planning to admit,
Ophelia ����
Time-Sideways Dragon Accidental Pilgrim Collector of Stories & Wisdom & Apparently Cards?
P.S. If a muffin offers you directions, verify them with a second muffin. Preferably one with less ambition
Related Subjects
Fantasy Fiction Humor Humor & Entertainment Literature & Fiction Science Fiction & Fantasy