We always want to meet other people's expectations and follow the rules of society. By repressing what is meaningful to us we oppress ourselves in the process. In short, we are violent to ourselves. We have already worked so hard but there are still so many struggles and conflicts inside of us. What do we really want? All of these deals we cut; all the hard work and the many situations when we feel mistreated have to be recognized and accepted. We want to feel secure, and we want to belong. These desires are actually cravings for being loved. We want to be loved, and we feel we can be loved by cooperating with others and by our efforts. We work hard to feel loved and to feel secure, even to the point of willingly sacrificing everything.
Covered up by all our efforts, our thinking and our scheming to find love, we don't realize that love has always been inside of us If we could realize this, instead of feeling disappointed and lost, we could turn it around and have a good look at ourselves instead. We will find that love and the feeling of belonging are always inside of us. We cannot see it because we never learned this truth.
The key message of this book is to change our focus and look within instead. Only then will we discover that the love we have always been looking for has always been inside of us.