Crucial Conversations Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High, Second Edition

By Kerry Patterson, Joseph Grenny, Ron McMillan, et al.

Book Overview

The New York Times and Washington Post bestseller that changed the way millions communicate "[ Crucial Conversations ] draws our attention to those defining moments that literally shape our lives, our... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0071771328
• ISBN13: 9780071771320
• Release Date: September 2011
• Publisher: McGraw Hill
• Length: 272 Pages
• Weight: 0.81 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.9" x 0.6" x 6.0"

Customer Reviews

Just, Meh

While I believe this book could be a useful resource, it’s not perfect. It provides a good framework—especially for new managers or supervisors—but it assumes you are always dealing with someone who is capable of a rational, open dialogue, or that a rational, open dialogue is always the right answer. In reality, it is not—especially if the other party is unwilling to meet you anywhere near the middle. The book’s core strength is its focus on psychological safety, which is such a vital call-out for any leader. It is spot on that if people don’t feel psychologically safe, they will stop sharing their real thoughts, leading them to either clam up (silence) or lash out (violence) through sarcasm, masking, or attacks. The concepts of 'Starting with Heart' and constantly asking, 'What do I really want for myself, for others, and for the relationship?' are solid takeaways for anyone trying to lead effectively. However, the frame work can feel a bit formulaic. It leans heavily on the idea that if you just create the right environment and follow the steps, you can fix any interaction. In reality, you cannot have a productive dialogue with someone who lacks the emotional intelligence to look inward or who is flat-out unwilling to come to the table in good faith. If the other person is only interested in being snide or attacking, these tools have their limits. Still, it’s a helpful starting point for developing influence and finding a collective purpose. I’ve found the 'Path to Action' framework—learning how to slow down our own stories and get back to the facts—to be particularly useful for staying professional under pressure. It’s a book with 'good bones' and a necessary starting point for anyone who hasn't been taught how to manage high-stakes discussions, as long as you remember that you can only control your own side of the table.

Loved this book! Life changer!

I actually had to read this book for work, haha. But honestly, it is a life changer- professionally and personally! I love that you can take the quiz on their website. Sometimes it's hard to look in, so the quiz really assists with getting to know yourself and the book breaks it down on how to navigate yourself and communicate effectively during heated conversations. I may read this book once a year because I feel you can always grow from it.

One of the most important books I have read

How on earth do they ever let us become adults without knowing the principles in this book?! Not having models of successful conversations, I stumbled and bumbled through and wrecked many of my relationships. Had I known and applied the principles in this book, all of my relationships would be much much better. A quick read, well balanced between theory and practical techniques. . Quit reading these reviews and start reading it! If you don't find it trans-formative, I will drive to your house and wash your dishes!

Insightful, practical, engaging--an exceptional book!

When I obtained a copy of Crucial Conversations, I had very high expectations of this book having read the authors' outstanding earlier work, The Balancing Act. I must say I wasn't disappointed; in fact, I was delighted! Crucial Conversations is an extremely insightful and very practical book. Indeed, it is a very rare combination to find a book that contains profound ideas as well as provides actionable tools and Crucial Conversations delivers both.The book addresses a topic that is largely misunderstood and vastly underestimated: high stakes dialogue. The authors define crucial conversations as those where 1) stakes are high, 2) opinions vary, and 3) emotions run strong, or in other words, much of both our professional and personal lives. We're all involved in crucial conversations at home and at work but most of us are not very aware of the interpersonal dynamics at play and/or we're unskilled in how to respond differently. The book helps the reader first understand the principles involved in "crucial conversations" but then also helps the reader develop real skills and abilities to choose or change their communication patterns. The end result is remarkable. The book's impact is a much bigger idea than simple communication--it's all about effective human interaction and getting results with and through people.The book is highly readable, extremely engaging and actually quite fun. It is filled with illustrations and stories from all walks of life: business examples, personal examples and family examples. The fact that the principles and skills the authors teach can be applied in all dimensions of life--work, home, personal--is very appealing to me and made the book extremely helpful on many fronts.I benefitted most from this book from a business standpoint and have found that applying these skills has made a real difference at work. I'm more courageous and more considerate at the same time. I understand people better but I especially understand myself better. I'm far more conscious and aware of my dialogue with others and I've greatly improved my skills and abilities to lead effectively. The bottom line is, I'm helping my company get better results and I'm far more effective personally. If more people in business were to apply these principles and skills in the frequent crucial conversations they have at work, they would make better decisions, achieve better results and do it all in a way that would build the trust and strengthen relationships. I couldn't give a book higher marks. Outstanding!

Crucial Conversations: Helping You To Be All You Can Be

Most books deliver well on the "what." Crucial Conversations delivers on the "how." Those "how to skills" are helping my direct reports and me change the culture of our division. More importantly, it is helping me to generate useful techniques that I can use at work, at home, and during my volunteer work with community service organizations. It has assisted me in identifying what I really want as I dialog with others and lays out the necessary steps to achieve my outcome(s) while maintaining good and positive human relationships.This book is a "must read" for organizational personnel and individuals who have become casual communicators in high stakes conversations, thus missing out on valuable and collaborative resolutions to problems, assisting in negatively labeling others, and settling on mediocre business and personal relationships.