Cracking the Communication Code: The Secret to Speaking Your Mate's Language; Love for Her, Respect for Him

by Emerson Eggerichs

Book Overview

An in-depth study of the vital principles from the best-selling Cracking the Communication Code now in workbook form. Communication between couples has been dissected in thousands of books and articles, so why does it remain the number one marriage problem? "Because," says Dr. Emerson Eggerichs, "most spouses don't know that they speak two different languages. They are sending each other messages in 'code, ' but they won't crack that code until they...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 1591455057
• ISBN13: 9781591455059
• Release Date: January 2007
• Publisher: Integrity Publishers
• Length: 355 Pages
• Weight: 1.32 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.3" x 6.3" x 9.2"

Customer Reviews

Too long! Lost interest.

The book had good points. However, I never finished it. The format is more of a blog/journal. I read half way through the book and it kept repeating one point over and over again and how he came to this conclusion. I think they need to come up with a new edition and shorten the book by taking out all the unnecessary talk and just stick to the facts and advice.

Cracking the Communication Code

This book is just as amazing as Eggerich's first book Love & Respect. I really enjoyed this book because it went a lot more into depth about communicating with your spouse. The point that really got me thinking is that we are not loving and respecting our spouse because we just feel like it but we are actually loving and respecting our spouse because we love God and are choosing to obey what he commands in Ephesians. When we love or respect our spouse we are choosing to obey God and we are choosing to serve Him in our marriage through the good times and difficult times too. Unconditional respect is a very difficult decision for a wife who has always been taught that people should earn our respect. I know that if I choose each day to unconditionally respect my spouse I will remain on the reward cycle because his need for respect will be met and he will want to fulfil my need for love. I recommend every single and married person to read Love and Respect and follow that reading with this book, Cracking the Communication Code.

Inspiring book.

After reading the book, I realize that marriage is a spiritual path. Marriage is a relationship that tests me to reach a higher spiritual plane and to connect with God. I really liked Emerson's prayer of commitment. I don't normally buy Christian books and I had to "decode" a few things for myself to so I could relate to it, but after reading it, I have more appreciation for the nature of man and the nature of woman and how to respect and appreciate our differences. I also have more appreciation for the teachings of Jesus. Thank you Emerson!

WOW

WOW! This book is one of the best books I have ever read. The part on T-U-F-T-S is so insightful. Dr. E helped me to decipher what my spouse is really saying to me. I learned how to speak her distinct different language---"love" for her, "respect" for me---building mutual understanding, and enjoying a successful, godly marriage!!!!

A Great Follow Up

This is a great follow up to Love and Respect with even more concrete examples and ideas for showing love and respect within your relationship. It was a bit repetitive of his first book, so if you've read Love and Respect, it's a great review too.

Dr. E hits another one out of the ballpark

This is a sequel that does not disappoint! Applying the principles in Dr. E's first book, Love and Respect, brought me to a deeper level of intimacy with my husband and my God than I ever dreamed I could experience. Dr. E's new book, Cracking the Communication Code, contains additional ideas, strategies, and examples of how to successfully practice unconditional love and respect. Two sections of the book especially touched my heart. First, the material on forgiveness is outstanding and contains many fresh insights. Second, the T-U-F-T-S framework for examining whether the words I speak to my husband are truthful, uplifting, forgiving, thankful, and scriptural is marvelous. I know that I will refer to this book often and that my marriage will benefit as I apply the material it contains. That's my quick summary of how beneficial the book has been to me. Here's the longer version: If you've read Love and Respect, you understand that God's design for marriage is that husbands are to unconditionally love their wives and wives are to unconditionally respect their husbands. The principle is simple. I don't need another book to explain the principle. Nor do I expect a new book to come out with a new principle. In fact, if an author were to assert a new marriage principle that was supposedly an improvement on Ephesians 5:33, I should run from the false teaching! So, if I already know the principle, why do I enthusiastically endorse another book on the same topic? The reason is that I have difficulty consistently applying the principle. I continue to sin by failing to respect my husband. Sometimes, it's that I simply don't understand how to show him respect. I think I'm doing or saying the right thing, only to learn that my husband feels dishonored by my behavior. My heart can be deceitful. Other times, I know what I should do, but just don't feel like doing it. My heart is defiant. In both instances, I need to deal with my sin. And, the fresh insights I've gained from Cracking the Communication Code (CCC) have helped me to do that. When it comes to understanding what respect means, CCC provides additional discussion of the energizing cycle that has significantly deepened my understanding of marital dynamics. In Chapter 8, for example, each of the COUPLE concepts is linked to a corresponding CHAIRS concept. When I accept my husband's insight (i.e., the I in CHAIRS) he is motivated to listen to me in an understanding way (i.e., the U in COUPLE). Similarly, when I feel that my husband has listened to me, it's easier for me to accept his insight, etc. CCC also provides dozens of new examples that have increased my ability to decode what my husband is saying. For each of the six COUPLE and CHAIRS concepts, there are scripts that illustrate what a spouse who isn't feeling energized might say, as well as scripts that provide corresponding examples of communication that energizes. In several instances, I've seen immediate analog