Confessions of a Lost Mother

By Elisa M. Barton

No Synopsis Available.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0965079503
• ISBN13: 9780965079501
• Release Date: January 1996
• Publisher: Elisa m Barton
• Length: 157 Pages
• Weight: 0.65 lbs.
• Dimensions: 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Confessions of a Lost Mother

Elisa M. Barton did a fabulous job getting this book together. From the time I first got the book, I could not lay it down until I had completely read all the way through it from the front cover all the way to the back cover. I received this book through the mail personally from Elisa and it was signed with "Best Wishes" by her. This is a book that I will read over and over and really treasure over the years. It is truly a book that I will recommend to others. This is a great book to read for those in the adoption triage with many unanswered questions!

Honest Portrayal of Adoption

As an adoptee myself and as a birthmother who has been found by my birthdaughter, I can state that many if not most adoption experiences are not what the birthparent expected when they placed their child up for adoption. When I placed my child, I was quite specific about the qualities I wished in the birthparents and was promised that they would be fullfilled. All these many years later, I find that my child was just sold to the highest bidder! After raising 3 other daughters myself, I have decided that the coercion which is used on most birthmothers to make them believe that financial advantage is preferred over nurturing advantage is so totally without merit it is laughable. My child was adopted; she was treated kindly until her adoptive mother had a birthchild of her own. After that, she was abused (as was I in my adoptive parent's home)physicially and emotionally. (That would never have happened in my home; my children adore me because I was a warm and loving mother.) Society too often portrays the birthmother as some slummy little tramp with not enough brains to keep her legs together and the adoptive mother as a woman of high class and a paragon of virtue. This books reverses that picture. The book may sound bitter, but then alot of birthparents are bitter about the lies they were told and the way they have been portrayed. Especially 25 years ago, birthmothers weren't given the choices they are now. Knowing what I know now, I wouldn't give my pet dog to an adoptive parent.

Touching and emotional.

This is one of the rare books that, after having read it, I can say I have grown a little bit more. Thank you Ms. Barton!

Poignant

Having never met my real father, what I read in this book touched me. A beautiful book.

Comment about the relevance worldwide

As a member of one of the Internet adoption forums that served as source for Elisa Menocal Barton's book, I have to say that the issues presented and discussed in the book are indeed international. Some of the legal aspects of adoption may vary from country to country, but the emotional side is universal. The pain of a birthmother in New Zealand, about having lost her child, is the same of that of an US Birthmother. The trauma of identity loss, and not feeling you belong in the family you grow up in, is experienced by adopted people here in the same intensity as it is in other countries. The interactions between adoption triad members in New Zealand during Elisa's visit her last year demonstrated that this book is as relevant here as anywhere else in the world. The book also highlights the power of the Net as a communication tool. Many who take part in the email discussions may have been unable, of unwilling to speak about the personal issues going on for them in a face to face meeting, but found it safe to do so in the privacy of their own computer. It is from time to time very painful to read, but should indeed be read by anyone considering adoption. It totally refutes the believe promoted some years ago that adoption is a one-off event. It is instead a lifelong process that carries over into future generations. Kees Sprengers - Wellington, New Zealand