Twelve days. Two hundred miles. One bear costume. Zero common sense.
When a group of stubborn, middle-aged blokes decide to walk coast-to-coast across England, what could possibly go wrong? (Spoiler: everything.)
Armed with questionable knees, excessive amounts of pork pie, and a heroic lack of planning, we set off from the Irish Sea with nothing but a pebble in our pocket and the foolish belief that "it'll be fine." Through monsoon-level rain, endless hills, and several near-death experiences (one involving a flowerpot), we somehow bumbled our way all the way to Robin Hood's Bay - friendships intact, dignity... less so.
Expect:
Epic scenery and even more epic moaning
Ridiculous misadventures and questionable survival strategies
Campsites that made us question our life choices
Heroic snack-eating efforts that deserve a medal
Enough weird history to make you unstoppable at pub quizzes (including how smugglers used buckets of wee as weapons, and how a bloke from Hull helped shape the world's movies)
And, just for good measure, a man dressed as a bear terrorising small children at the finish line.
If you love travel writing with heart, humour, and a healthy dose of chaos - plus the occasional fascinating (and completely useless) historical fact - this is your next favourite read.
Perfect for fans of Bill Bryson, Michael Palin, or anyone who's ever looked at a map and thought, "How hard can it be?"
Lace up your boots (or just put your feet up) - it's time to walk across England. Badly.