He put his hands in his pockets, as he could feel the burning desire to feel the cold steel of a knife on his skin. Or the sweet surrender in numbness when he swallows a couple of Valiums. The only good thing that was still making him a little rational was that his brothers were in the other room, worrying about him, waiting him to ask for help or guidance, yet he couldn't bring himself to go out and ask them. They could help him, as they did in the past. Brian would sit quietly next to him pretending to watch something on TV, Luke trying to make some jokes to make everyone laugh, Nate probably would bicker with Ethan on who has broader shoulders, and he would sit in his world staring at the black hole threatening to swallow him alive. Now with Lena in his room, he just showed her the worst in him. How pathetic. To show someone your deepest fear and darkness and still expect them to love you for who you are.
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