Breaking the Code: Two Teens Reveal The Secrets To Better Parent-Child Communication

By Lara Fox and Hilary Frankel

Most parents know that what a teen says isn't always what he or she means. But few understand that what a parent says and what a teen hears are also two very different things. Here, two sixteen-year-olds present typical dialogues between parents and teens-and then translate them. Now parents can find out why, even though they think they're being helpful, they're suddenly getting the silent treatment-and how changing just a few words can make a world of difference. Inside are sections on money, personal privacy, academic pressure, siblings, drugs, clothing, and how to become more involved without becoming overbearing. Decoding each other's languages can build a bridge between parent and child-and create a bond that lasts long after the turmoil of the teen years is over.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0451214188
• ISBN13: 9780451214188
• Release Date: March 2005
• Publisher: NAL
• Length: 256 Pages
• Weight: 0.55 lbs.
• Dimensions: 8.3" x 0.8" x 5.5"
• Age Range: 18 years and up
• Grade Range: Grade 12 and higher

Customer Reviews

Surprisingly good

Okay, this book would probably get a "four star" review, but I'm so impressed that two high school girls wrote it, I can't help myself. This book is surprisingly thorough in the different scenarios it plays out. My only complaint is that the situations and remedies are sometimes absurdly "pro-teen." For example, teenagers are dreadfully insulting to their parents in the sample dialogues, calling them "bitch" or "psycho" routinely, and the authors (amazingly!) advise softballing these problems so they don't get worse. Other than that, nicely done, ladies.

A Outstanding Guide to Parentng

Breaking the code is a must read for all parents who wish to communicate with their children in a whole new way. A very intuitve and innovative approach to take when dealing with issues in your teen's life. I have found this book to be a bible for me and can't imagine life without it. Thank you Lara and Hillary for teaching us what to say and how to say it, It really makes a world of difference. I applaude you both.

Great help for parnets and teens

Breaking the code is the only book to give a parent an honest look into what their teen is thinking and feeling--and alternative ways to communicate. Writing straightforwardly and honestly from their own experiences and those of their friends, Lara and Hillary provide a wealth of insight that will help parents re-think how they talk to their teens and understand how what they are saying is really being heard. invaluable advice for teens adn their parents and a fun read! i highly recommend this book!

Amazing insight and unique perspective on parenting teens

After reading this book and gifting it to a friend of mine, I couldn't help but wish my own parents had had access to something like this when I was young. These two shockingly insightful and amazingly mature young girls give a very organized and factual account of how to deal with your teen, along with some much-needed interpretations on what your teen is truly thinking and feeling. Not only does it remind you of your own angst-filled days as a teenager, but it lends helpful advice to any parent struggling to get through that hard transition time when your child is no longer a "child" but not quite ready to leave the nest. I recommend this to ANY parent with teenagers of his/her own.

A MUST FOR PARENTS AND TEENS!

As a former family therapist and parent of two teenage boys, I found Breaking the Code to be a refreshing approach to communicating with teens. You have a rare opportunity to glean the insights of two bright, perceptive, and sensitive teens. They are truly wise beyond their 16 years! The book is written in a clear and concise manner, with each chapter addressing different topics ranging from privacy to curfews to drugs to dressing and more! I especially liked how they recount numerous real life examples of everyday conversations and confrontations and give you the opportunity to reexamine them with the benefit of a teen's point of view. There is no doubt in my mind that you will see yourself in many of the scenarios. The book is far from one sided and in fact does give insight into the trials and tribulations that a teenager experiences in needing to have limits set on one hand, while desiring the independence to develop their own identity on the other. Each of us struggles in trying to keep the lines of communication open during this difficult period of adolescence. One cannot help but garner many useful ideas that could be put to immediate practical use. I know I did. It is a resource for not only parents but also teachers and therapists and yes, even teens themselves! Just ask my son. I cannot imagine why such an exciting book has not come along sooner. Lara Fox and Hilary Frankel are two extraordinary girls who have shared a gift with us all...don't miss it!