Before We Were Born
Before We Were Born is a deeply personal memoir about first love, family, trauma, young marriage, motherhood, heartbreak, faith, separation, forgiveness, and the unexpected return of a love that once seemed permanently lost.
At the center of the story is Marsha "Nisha" Johnson, a quiet, introverted, sweet young woman growing up in West Dallas. Her life changes when she reconnects with Kendrick Revels, a charismatic, muscular, intelligent, funny young man known by friends as "Shorty" and sometimes "Little Hercules." Kendrick is talented in mathematics, dancing, music, and school activities, including serving as a drum major. Their attraction begins innocently-one of the defining memories is Kendrick approaching Nisha at a Pepsi machine during lunch-and quickly develops into an intense teenage love. Years later, Kendrick would jokingly claim that Nisha seduced him that day, a version of events she still disputes.
Their relationship is strengthened by something neither of them understands at the time: both are carrying childhood trauma and sexual abuse. They are, in many ways, two wounded young people recognizing something familiar in each other before either has the language to name it. Their love is real, but so are their unhealed wounds.
When Nisha discovers she is pregnant with their son Devone in January 1991, everything changes. Although frightened to tell her mother, she is surprised by her mother's warmth and acceptance. Religious beliefs and family expectations encourage Nisha and Kendrick to marry, but they are also genuinely in love and willing to do so. On March 11, 1991, at only sixteen, they marry before a justice of the peace.
Pregnancy brings both joy and devastating emotional pressure. Nisha faces threats at school from a girl interested in Kendrick, family conflict over who will be present during delivery, and growing emotional strain. At approximately eight months pregnant, overwhelmed by heartbreak and believing she can no longer endure the pain, she attempts to take her own life in a school bathroom. She survives, Devone survives, and the event becomes one of the darkest turning points in her story. Her mother's love, Uncle Brian's anguish, the response of teachers and medical staff, and the complicated aftermath reveal both the strength and fragility of the family surrounding her.
On October 30, 1991, at 7:29 a.m., Nisha gives birth to Devone. For a time, she and Kendrick experience the sweetness of becoming young parents. They move into their first apartment, obtain their GEDs, learn to live as adults, and try to build a family while still barely more than children themselves.
But the marriage begins deteriorating. Financial pressure, family involvement, Kendrick's desire for freedom and acceptance among his peers, grief over the death of his close friend Jerome Gaut, substance abuse, infidelity, emotional cruelty, occasional physical aggression, separation, reconciliation, and incarceration become part of a painful cycle. Nisha continues loving Kendrick while increasingly losing herself inside the marriage.
By Christmas Eve 2001, the breaking point finally arrives. Kendrick disappears during a family Christmas gathering, and Nisha eventually learns he is with another woman. Her family, exhausted from watching her suffer, tells her they can no longer continue witnessing the cycle. Nisha finally makes the choice she has struggled to make for years:
She chooses herself.Customer Reviews
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