Beating the Adoption Odds: Revised and Updated

By Dan Martin Groves and Cynthia D. Martin

Book Overview

The completely revised and updated edition of "the definitive guide to modern infant adoption" (Los Angeles Times).

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0156005220
• ISBN13: 9780156005227
• Release Date: April 1998
• Publisher: Harvest Publications
• Length: 608 Pages
• Weight: 1.65 lbs.
• Dimensions: 1.6" x 6.0" x 9.0"

Customer Reviews

Do Your Homework -- Read This Book!

As the parent of two adopted children I read this book with mixed thoughts. We are an older couple that wanted to adopt infants. We were told that we were asking the impossible, even as a mixed-race couple (Asian/European) in a state that historically has had a hard time placing mixed race children (specifically African/European or African/Hispanic). In fact these children are so hard to place locally they are considered to be "special needs children" along with the physically and mentally handicapped! However, despite our ages and various ailments, 7 months almost to the day of first walking in through the door of the agency we were the proud protectors of a 15-day old baby girl. Two years, two months and two days later, our son came to us through the same agency. Other friends and acquaintances were also looking to adopt during this same time, yet their experiences were much more like those recounted in this book. They tried again and again, through agencies, private arrangements, foster care, and so on, and many gave up. Children were placed with them and removed, they went to court time after time, they waited years, and spent thousands of dollars. What was the difference between us and them?There was a degree of luck on our part, in getting a social worker who was intelligent, unbiased, hard-working, organized, etc. Yet that same woman turned down the application of our friends, saying they needed marriage counseling before they could think of adopting, despite 17 years of marriage. The biggest difference that I can see is that before we ever walked in the agency door, we read books like this one. We knew what it would cost and saved up the money. We knew there would be questions about child-rearing, religion, race, and so on, and we talked it all out before we went. We knew the pros and cons of each type of adoption and deliberately chose a church-based private agency with a viewpoint we agreed with. We also were completely, totally, 100% honest and open, and still are, with the agency, the birth parents, the judges, our families, and our children, who have pictures and letters from the Moms and Dads that made them.If you want to adopt you don't have to go to China or Rumania, unless you want to. You don't have to spend $25,000 to "buy" a baby, unless you want to. There are hundreds of babies here at home, and they need you as much as you need them. But you never get something without working for it. Do your homework first! Read this book!

We beat the odds!

After meeting a woman in a local parking lot who was hand in hand with a precious biracial little boy and engaging in an "adoption conversation", we contacted Mrs Martin and asked some simple questions, read her first book from cover to cover, and began our "baby search. About 16 months months later, (7/98) with the assistance of Dru and Cynthia as our adoption facilitators we became the proud parents of a healthy newborn biracial beautiful baby girl! We followed their steps and instructions and it WORKS!!! I have since read this book and passed them both on to prospective parents.

Preparing for an adoption

As an adult adoptee and a married woman who hopes to adopt soon, I found this book to be realistic and comprehensive. It earns extra points for being the collaborative work of an adoptive mother and her daughter, both now working in adoption. Perhaps their understanding of adoption from so many angles is what makes this book stand out as THE handbook for prospective adoptive families. The criticism from a UK reader really doesn't hold much weight. Cynthia and Dru facilitate adoptions with an emphasis on placing African-American and bi-racial babies. Reading this book is time well spent for anyone creating a family through adoption -- including extended family and friends who want insight into what's happening with the adoptive family. I recommend this book to everyone I know that is considering adoption.

The best how-to book on adoption that I have read !!!

I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking well thought-out, insightful, complete information on adoption. I have read 5 adoption books in the last 3 weeks and this is the best by far!!!

Excellent

Excellent and thorough explanation of the adoption process. Anyone who is even considering adopting should read this book. It explains not only the legal end but also the different problems and issues that adoptive parents face with their children.