Be Honest--You're Not That Into Him Either: Raise Your Standards and Reach for the Love You Deserve

by Ian Kerner

Book Overview

Avoid the booty call blues and get the love -- and sex -- you deserve

Come on. Admit it. He may not be that into you, but were you ever really that into him? He was never "the one," but you lowered your standards and dated him in the meantime. Why? For any number of reasons: you were lonely, you were horny, you thought dating him was better than being alone, all your friends are getting married -- you name it. And before you knew it, you got...

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0060817402
• ISBN13: 9780060817404
• Release Date: February 2005
• Publisher: William Morrow & Company
• Length: 164 Pages
• Weight: 0.80 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.8" x 5.5" x 8.3"

Customer Reviews

Wake up and smell your SELF EMPOWERMENT

This book kicks "He's not that into You" firmly in the crotch. Thank the Good Lord that someone finally did. The first chapters explain why it's a bad idea for women to have casual sex. DUH!!! For me and my friends, this is as true as the sky is blue. Having sex like a man is a myth. I cannot fathom why people are watching "Sex and the City" and believing it. Ian Kerner, the author, explains in scientific terms why it's not likely for women to have sex that is casual as well as enjoyable. He goes into hormones, the way other mammals act, etc. This book suggests that having "sex like a man" is UN-empowering, despite what your local commando feminist might say. Note to the audience: For those readers who are squeamish about sex and masturbation, the first couple of chapters are going to be uncomfortable. If you're not having sex, this book is probably not useful for you. Also, if you have problems finding a guy, this book is not for you. However, if you find that you are dating guys that you're not that into, this book is for you. Also, if you're a parent and your daughter is going away to college, I'd recommend this book for your daughter. It might keep her away from the frat houses. Believe me, it happens, and it's better for her to get a good whiff of reality before she is out on her own. The second and third couple of chapters explain why you should not seriously date someone who you're not that into. I don't think that these chapters are as good as the first, but I identify with dating people who I am not that into. It's a waste of time. You know from the very beginning that you're not going to marry them, and spending time by yourself is so much more enjoyable and empowering. Overall, I think that this book is a four star book, but I am giving it five simply because it kicks some butt.

Made my day

My dating life sucks and I wasn't looking for yet another dating book. He's Just Not That Into You bummed me out, and I definitely wasn't interested in this one. I got it in a goody bag at a Girls Night Out event and I wasn't going to read it. But then I picked it up and I read the whole thing on a Sunday afternoon. It's going to sound corny, but I laughed and cried, because I saw so much of myself in the writing.

Someone Had to Say It

As a single woman I'm so sick of tired of books that say don't call, here are the rules, here's how to play a game. Thank heaven this book doesn't say that, and lets modern women know that feminism really did happen and wasn't just a tv show. if we all lived our lives according to he's just not that into you, we'd all be sitting home waiting for the phone to ring instead of being confident.

Even Better than He's not that Into You

The book He's not that Into You is a book to help you "get over" the man who destroy your life and your self esteem. However, it does give women a passive attitude towards dating and finding the right person. Like I mentioned in my previous review, we women only take the belief of "He's not that Into You" when you decide his ambivalent behavior is ruining your life. Unlike He's not that Into You, the "Be honest - You're not that Into Him Either" gives women the opportunity to explore and learn more about her, surfacing the bottom line and the honest truth about life - Life is full of choices. I give more credits towards this book because it is written from a male sex therapist. I admire the author's deep knowledge about women (when I was reading the book, I wonder how was that even possible a male sex therapist would know so much about the honest truth) and had fun reading this book. I like the way the author surface the truth of why most women cannot have sex/physical intimacy like a man and why it is better for a person to wait if she wants to have a steady, loving relationship. Sex/Physical intimacy is a topic every man and woman wants to know the most but it is a topic our society talks very little (I mean in a psychological point of view). Most women do not want to wake up in the morning feeling they were promiscuous. Or, women, from a biological perspective, become more emotional bonded with the man when sex/physical intimacy is involved. I like how the author surfaces another side of the fence about how women get into a self-defeating position in dating. You're not that into him either if: 1. You believe there is no good man left NOTE: This is our self-defeating excuse to stay in the same position so we can be "lazy" of not finding the love we deserve 2. You need someone to be into you to serve your ego and to cope your loneliness NOTE: Ladies, please let go of your ego because your ego does not bring you happiness 3. You lost faith in finding love NOTE: You were hurt a couple times and you are convinced that love is not there 4. Your biological clock is clicking and you want to be with someone (regardless whether he is compatible with you or not) Women in general want happy marriage and kids. However, sometimes their eyes are caught up with conforming to the society (the little picture frame of a "happy family", the wedding, the diamond engagement ring, coupling, "to be with someone") and lost sight around the most important message about life - which is creating a life for self and others that is content, happy and peaceful. It is so true that women are better off being single than rushing into the idea of marriage just to show off to others how wonderful her life is (because divorce happen so often in life nowadays). Are you falling in love with the idea of marriage, play girl, coupling because it is "cool" according to the society? Or are you falling in love for the man you are very into? Or are you falling in love wi

I hate self-help books

but i read this one in one sitting, from cover to cover. this is what i've needed for a long time--i'm 28,in NYC, & drum roll, a single lady. Haven't *had* anyone worth bragging about since college and in those (gasp) 6 years, i have maintained one or 2 rather unfulfilling "arrangements"...and i thought it was only me with the problem(s) and that something was wrong with me at my core. Ian is right on, making me see clearly what i always suspected was the case: there isn't anything wrong with my soul, but i better watch out for myself and concentrate on making myself happy for real instead of just f*cking around with loser boys. He's put a modern spin on "you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself" with a dash of it's not just them, it's them and it's us together. And it's not cheesy, it's not Pollyanna, it's not a quick fix. So it's worth it!