At the risk of losing you: Book I

By Angélique Daniel

My name is Megan. In 1991, I was 16 and dating the boy I had always loved. I had not expected that my destiny would be radically changed by the arrival of Jessy. This 17-year-old boy attracts me from the first glance, even if he seems to be fleeing the whole world. Gradually, I get closer to him and discover him.

One evening, I no longer resist and kiss him but he pushes me away before telling me his painful secret: he has been HIV-positive for a year.

Since he had an unprotected heterosexual relationship.

In 1991, all we knew about AIDS was that it was a deadly and frightening disease. Anyone who knows Jessy's condition rejects her.

Will I do the same or stay close to him at all costs ?

English is not my native language, there may be some mistakes for which I apologize in advance.

Extract:
I blush and lower my head.
- Did you leave a girlfriend in Allentown?
- Let's say I had a girlfriend.
- You still have ?
- Well no, we broke up...
I don't give him time to finish his sentence as my lips are already on his.
Immediately, he kisses me back. His lips are soft and warm on mine, I feel him slide a hand to my waist, pulling me closer to him until, as suddenly as it began, he pushes me back forcefully before standing up abruptly. link, visibly upset.
-That's not true Why did you do it ? He writes to himself while standing in front of me, hands on hips waiting for a response.
- I don't know, I said as sincerely as possible. Since I met you, I have felt lost. I don't know why but I feel like I've known you forever and this feeling totally upsets me. I was hoping you felt the same way I did.

Far from calming down, Jessy walks away from me, walking as quickly as he can. I get up and run after him.

- Jessy, wait What is happening ? Please, don't tell me that kiss was that bad

He doesn't stop though. I catch him by one arm forcing him to stop on his way.

- I'm sorry if... I shouldn't have kissed you, but I honestly thought you wanted to too.

- It is, he whispers, staring at me.

- So where is the problem ?

- I can not do that.

- But why ? I know that compared to Chad it's a bad thing but...

- It has nothing to do with him. The problem is me. I'm not made for love, he gets angry again. I gave too much, now that is forbidden to me.

He slips away from my hand. I say to him:

- I don't understand You can't pretend to want to kiss me and then run away like that a second later. It's not me who made you suffer so why should I pay for what others made you endure? I'm not your ex

Abruptly, he stops his running, turns around before coming back towards me. His features are distorted by anger but I also read a form of pain there.
- No, you are not the one who changed my life and I in no way wish to become the one who changes yours in the same way My life is ruined Meg, I'm already at the end. I'm going to die, he adds when he sees that I don't understand his words. - Wh... What? I stammer, in shock. He gets closer. His face is only a few centimeters from mine.
- Meg, I'm HIV positive. I have the AIDS virus, he admits quietly so that no one else can hear him, although the street is deserted. So stay away from me, believe me, it's better
He leaves as quickly as possible. Soon night envelops it completely. For a long moment, I remained there, dismayed, unable to make the slightest gesture.

• Format: Paperback
• Language: English
• ISBN: B0CKSZPFQ3
• ISBN13: 9798863386683
• Release Date: October 2023
• Publisher: Independently Published
• Length: 422 Pages
• Weight: 1.24 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.0" x 9.0"