Are Those Kids Yours?: American Families with Children Adopted from Other Countries

by Cheri Register

Book Overview

The question "Are those kids yours?" has a familiar ring to parents who have adopted children from South Korea, India, Colombia, the Philippines, and other countries. As natural and normal as it feels... This description may be from another edition of this product.

• Format: Hardcover
• Language: English
• ISBN: 0029257506
• ISBN13: 9780029257500
• Release Date: November 1990
• Publisher: Free Press
• Length: 240 Pages
• Weight: 1.10 lbs.
• Dimensions: 0.9" x 6.3" x 9.6"

Customer Reviews

Unusual and interesting

This book is not intended as a practical guide on how to adopt internationally but addresses the paradoxical nature of adoption and the ethical questions inherent in international adoption. It will make the general reader and adoptive parent of children from another race more sensitive about honoring the child's original culture.My first reaction to the title "Are Those Kids Yours?" was: "Yes, some people are really rude to ask such a question of parents whose children look decidedly different from them." The author asks "How many other parents are regularly approached by strangers demanding to know, `Are those kids yours?' She thinks that this question reflects the paradoxical nature of adoption itself and while she answers the question with an "unqualified yes" she lives with the paradox that "they are mine, yet not mine." The title of her book suggests that international adoption complicates the issue of entitlement because the child "race remains unchanged. A Korean-born girl named Bridget O'Leary is still Asian to the world-at-large, and that facet of her identity needs to be affirmed and nurtured." Children's ethnic group, race and nation of origin all are involved in the competing claims of entitlement, not simply between birthparents and adoptive parents. Gisela Gasper Fitzgerald, author of ADOPTION: An Open, Semi-Open or Closed Practice?

Thought-provoking and insightful!

Register's thoughtful discussion of what international adoption can mean to a family and to a child should be a part of the reading list for any family or individual considering adopting internationally. This is not a "how-to" book, and Register specifically recommends that if you are looking for information about the details of adopting from any specific country you should find up-to-date sources that focus on those issues. This book focuses on the life-long implications of international adoption, and helps families think through the meaning of their decisions. Register adresses such issues as these: What does it mean to be an interracial family? What have been the experiences of families who suddenly become the target of comments and stares? What is the experience of a non-adopted sibling when a child of another race is adopted into the family? What are the ethical implications of wealthy (by global standards) Western families adopting children from poorer nations? How can potential parents avoid and detect situations which promote exploitation or coercion of birthparents? How can we help our children develop a meaningful cultural identity without personal experience of part of their cultural heritage? What does it mean to a child to be "rootless" without identifiable genetic heritage? How can our personal experiences as adoptive families help to make a difference in the lives of those siblings and cousins and crib-mates of our child who are still living in orphanages and/or on the street in their home country?Despite the discussion of some difficult and sobering topics, Register's book comes across as very positive toward international adoption. Register herself has two daughters adopted from Korea, and she shares many of her experiences and the joys that she has had in raising them.Many of the anecdotes in this book feature children adopted from Korea, but the issues apply to children from a variety of cultural backgrounds. The Korean context is particularly helpful in that the children who were Korean war orphans are now adults, and Register was able to interview adoptees of a variety of ages, including those adults, and the insights of these older adoptees about their experiences and what they wish their adoptive parents had and had not done is particularly helpful.Overall a very thought-provoking book, and one that will help potential adoptive parents think beyond paperwork, furnishing a room, and getting passports. Highly recommended.

A very important read for prospective adoptive parents

This book explores many of the practical and ethical issues of adopting internationally and implications this has for newly created multi-racial families. This book will disabuse you of the 'we-are-a-clourblind-family' mentality and discusses very real isues children experience as they grow up in multi-racial families. I found it to be sobering, and I gained new respect for families who decide to take the international adoption route. Many of the stories she relates deal with the well-documented case studies of US-Korean adoptions, so for parents starting out in the adoption process, it is nice to gain insight into how others have handled the situations that are unique to this kind of adoption.This is a great read, an important read, just sobering at times. Don't adopt internationally without reading this book.

A very important and helpful book, highly recommended.

This book is wonderfully and sensitively written. The reader is encouraged toward meaningful reflection on the child's experience of growing up in an interracial family. Practical advice, soul-searching questions and obvious pleasure in parenting characterize the issues and stories in this book. You owe it to your child and yourself to read this book. Very helpful for adoption professionals as well.

Thoughtful view of total international adoption experience

I read this book at the beginning of our journey into International adoption. The book starts with the motivation for international adoption and moves through the stages until Ms. Register concludes with grownup adoptees and their view of the world and themselves. She includes both experiences of over 30 parents and adoptees themselves. She asks thoughtful questions such as "How do you feel about mixed race marriages?" Ms. Register causes one to reflect on issues that may occur in the future. That's what I liked about her writing. I highly recommend this book to everyone considering adopting from another country.